»History repeats itself..
Saturday, June 18, 2011
"It's happening again.."
What is?
My friendship woes..
It sucks, really..
Maybe it was my fault..
But I'm too obnoxious to admit that..
Well, I lost her as a friend..
It's sad..
We kicked off pretty well..
Then it crumbled when I took her for granted..
Bad habits die hard..
Maybe if I start thinking deeper..
It will help?
I really don't know..
I want to go back to when we first started..
The first time we went shopping,
And I realized how much I love you as my friend..
That I thought u finally had such an awesome friend I can click with..
And I thought I could have that selfish thoughts having you as my BFF..
(ok, BFF is a taboo word..)
I try not to use it because bad things happen when you label your friends as BFFs..
-shudders-
(wait.. I want to clarify or make something clear before I continue..)
I have a handful of best friends..
I did some housekeeping to my friendships..
All my friendships are different..
They are all different experiences to me.
The differences in that,
is the experience I have experienced with that friend..
but ALL my friendships (close ones) are very important to me..
So, please understand that the way I handle my friendship with different people are different..
I may have not used the right method to handle our friendship..
That was failure in my part..
Allow me to continue..
I have never, ever dreamed of having a friend like you.
I was really very happy when I was with you..
Because I felt that I could connect with you..
And I told you things I felt I could pull out my mouth with others..
I trusted you, I still trust you..
Because you are still that friend I know..
But you have took up the role of being another person BFF..
That is my loss..
honestly, I really miss you.
Pride has taken me over..
But partly, the reason why I'm not going to patch is up.
Is because I know I have already lost the friendship we once had.
It's going to be different now..
Especially, what you told me that day..
Your friendship with your ex best friend no longer felt the same.
That is what I fear..
Because being the selfish me..
I would want the friendship to regain to what it was before this friendship died.
I'm a spoiled person.
Spoiled by you..
For always being so nice and attentive to me.
Texting me and being worried..
You know, rarely anyone gives me a shit.
Maybe they did once, then they gave up..
But you didn't give up..
Thank you for being such a gracious friend..
Because you are always forgiving..
I'm sorry for not working hard on this friendship..
I miss you, my friend.
It sucks to have lost a friend like you.
I should have known that I should have held on.
But sucks to be me, isn't it?
People would never know how to treasure before they lose it.
It always apply to me.
Maybe I have shit loads of friends who have been worrying..
But I just thought they would be there for me , cos they just would be.
An obnoxious thinking..
I want you as my friend again..
Can we go back to what we were in school..?
My friend, I miss you..
曾经拥有。
I'm sorry.
Labels: friends issues
words spilled @ 6/18/2011 12:02:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»Hurrrhurrr
Saturday, June 04, 2011
" Sometimes the smartest person can be pretty dumb.. "
Ok, so the first post after i changed my blog link. (:
weeee!
I am employed.. and life still kinda sucked.
So yea..
But i have this nagging feeling in me, and its very hard for me to talk.
And now, as in talking to my family has been..
INCREASINGLY HARD.
I dont know.
Maybe it was like that since last time.
Then I created a fantasy in my head thinking that everything was pretty fine.
And my mom was cool and so on.
(yea, she is cool.. and scary)
So its pretty much nonsense thou.
Pfffft.
Kinda sucks.
Cos I feel as if I am going throu the '16 year old' phase again.
Nobody understands what you are saying.
Sigh, and sometimes people around you can be such jerks.
Esp brothers.
Sigh, he can be sooo nice.
But sometimes it feels as if he suddenly had his period and starts PMS-ing.
Its really annoying.
Also, the worst thing is he's pretty smart.
(As compared to me)
Sidenote: I think my IQ has dropped rapidly these days
So whenever we quarrel on something, its difficult to have something smart thrown at him.
Even if its smart, he will just throw it back at you and make you look stupid.
Urgh, fuck.. right?
Interacting with him is like interacting with a timebomb.
With no indication when it will blow.
It is easy to have a conversation with him.
But when he gets cranky, oh man..
I avoid his path.
So its dangerous.
Thats a reason I interact very little with him at times.
He can be very nice and very nasty.
But at least he isnt 2 faced, cos he can be super duper straightforward and stubborn.
The worst side of a human being.
The nice and the nasty
Ooo, ok.
im done ranting.
I FEEL SO GOOOD!
Sigh, I so do not want to go work on mondays. ):
it sucks.
The worse thing is to handle something which they said to set an expectation for.
Siao.
How can I??!
Sian sian sian sian sian
Labels: rants, sian, upset, work
words spilled @ 6/04/2011 11:25:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
