I can't seem to breathe and rest easy. 

Sometimes, I just want to run away from everything. Just drop everything as it is and leave it be. Without thinking who will be implicated by my actions. 

But I can't..Because I know, by doing that. My family would never hear the end of it. People will mock and laugh. Being Asian, 'face' is everything. It's really important. And my mother, even though she emphasize that she isn't bothered by that. I know she truly is. But to reassure us, she usually say "it's ok la.. I'm not worried" but the underlying message is "please.. Don't do that k? People will talk and stuff, so lao kui."

And.. I'm really tempted to write down something else regarding the family. But it's freaking personal. Because 'one does not wash dirty linen in the public' (CHINESE SAYING) 

And if I do, I gotta private my blog.

I don't want to.

What I can summarize is, everybody love 'face' , and it will pretty much mean that they will do anything, say anything, to retain the 'face' of theirs.

All I know, throughout these years of growing up, listening, observing what people did; it's quite scary to know some things and its very disheartening. 

It makes me feel as if that trust is malleable. It could be broken, formed again based on some conversation, then broken again due to personal needs.

But then, again..

If I was to tell someone in my extended family about this. Wouldn't you think, that I would just be digging my grave?

This knowledge only came to me, after I realized that 'To Trust' someone.. Isn't that easy nor simple.

I really want to learn how to trust people; and be able to see what their true intentions are.

I'm quite stupid, so theae attribute doesn't come easy. Or maybe too easy( in trusting someone).

有好多要说的，但是却说不出。

如果连最亲的也要防，那外人不是要键好几个墙了吗？

Tutorial:

Tutorial:

Tutorial:
I will think of what I wanna say when I think of it. PEACE OUTTTTTTTTT.