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Saturday, March 11, 2006
I juz pierced my ears yesterday..Oww..
Pain lo..ok la..it was throbbing pretty badly...
haha..dun get me wrong..it's not to impress him..
it'll probably turn him off...haha.. *heartbreaks*
I admire those people who confesses..They are so brave..
Like my dear ah gerl *not naming her*...
She went to confess..but in the end,it's all a heartbreak..
that guy even avoided her..but im really very awed by her actions..
her bravery..to say 'i like u' to that guy..
Confessions have 2 paths..
a heartbreak or a sweet relationship..
Im afraid of rejection from him..
But i could faintly see him saying im not really his type..
Probably,i'll juz run to the toilet & start bawling my eyes out..
Loved him for 2 and a 1/2 mnth...
Crazy..But not really..I dun think i am...
I actually dun mind if he rejects me..haha.. *heatbreaks again*
actually i do..2 and a 1/2 mnths of non-stop luv..
LOLs...
I think i first met him was dunno wehn around march..
Saw him running around..So funny..He looked kinda blur..
But didnt expect from the * class to the 1st class...
So pro..haha..
Then i met sum of his frens...
Made frens wif him and now..we are still friends..
Sum of my friends told me..why not confess to him..?
Probably he could accept me..I did tot of it..
But then i looked back @ my friend..
Then i said better not..COs im in the fear of rejection..
At first i tot i was juz 'in' for his looks...
Den 1 week,1 month,1 year passed...
Then it was not juz admiration..It was 'puppy' love ba..
then i liked,liked,liked and liked him..
haha..till i tot i was obsessed wif him..haha..ok la..
teeny weeny speck of obsession..
but recently i was tot of given cold-shoulders from him..
Then i looked at my past action..
I too was giving him hot and cold shoulders..
haha..probably pay back ba..
But then i oso tot of it..
There are so many bright and beautiful girls wif him...
Will he notice me..I guess not..
Juz a crazy & wild girl who is so-called a fren..
haha..that made me pretty disheartened..Quite heart breaking..
Then to makes matters worse..i did not really do well in this
sec 3 semester..So rejection is SO on my side..
Heard that he knew i liked him..[uh oh]
probably he heard too much till he was like watever...
and lot's of girls like him haha...
ok la..i am so pained..
I dunno whether should i not like him anymore..
And juz treat him as a friend..a normal friend..
i think i really should...
I should start piecing my heart back again..
Or i should find a guy which can love me whole heartedly...
VERY DIFFICULT..LOLS...
Should stop being lame anymore..
Juz to let him notice me..I do lame stuff...avoiding his gaze all those stuff...It's so lame..I think iam very lame..
Very stupid..Useless..Watsoever..I HATE MYSELF..!!
Hate myself for loving him too MUCH!
Arrgh..
This year is his 'O level..Hope he can do well..
Den go back his country or migrate to other place...
he's a clever guy..he could make it..!
Budden i muz glue my heart and forget him..
Or else i will be severly turned off by L.O.V.E
I dunno why i am so sad about this..
Juz because of some action and words he did...
I hate myself for loving u too much...
I hope i could actuallytake this courage and say 'I love you'
I could regret but i dun mind..at least this boulder 'll be off..
I really love him...Loving him too much till im i so much pain..
words spilled @ 3/11/2006 01:29:00 PM /
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