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It's Monday.

And I woke up feeling as if it was a Saturday.

But sadly,Yeap. 

Both my calendar and Mother confirmed my dread. It's Monday.

I have no grudges against Monday.

Maybe I did. I used to.

But as time goes by, alongside with continuos routine.

You tend to get used to it. 

I had that 1minute of dread and complaints running through my head. 

"what, it's too early."

"I so wanna get back to bed."

"Can I not go to work?"

Then, resignation kicks in.

It's a routine, you follow it.

Off goes those thoughts and its the start of my daily routine.

Annnnnd, I have drifted off topic, again.

(Eunice, Eunice when would you ever learn.)

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As mentioned in the header, 'Inspiration'.

Recently, I have been rolling around YouTube. (Lol, rolling.)

Thanks to Gloria!

Gloria Shurinava aka glowpinkstah is a vlogger. A really adorable lady with a big heart, an attitude, and someone who has awesome sense of humor.

I love people who brings other happiness~

She is one of them.

So I chance upon her when I was scrolling through Stomp.

Yesyesyes, I am very 'eng'.

But that's only to give me a breather from work. (Excuses excuses,so I don't look like a bad employee.)

It was an article from Yahoo news and someone stomped about it.

It was about her and her boyfriend, Ali.

So Gloria is also a plus sized girl with a cute ginger boyfriend.

And everyone comes up with all the nonsense that he is using her.

(I did think of that too. Shame on me)

But when I viewed their video. I kinda could see that sparkling look in Ali's eyes aka Derp whenever he looks at Gloria.

I'm not saying all these because I want to be like her and get a handsome boyfriend. 

(Even if I do, my paranoia will eat through me. 'Is he cheating on me with my beautiful friend' etc. I will prolly screw up the r/s first, even if the guy did love me)

Gloria is different, and that is why her boyfriend saw it in her. How special is she, how daring and how 'buay paiseh' (not easily embarrassed) when she does her vids, and her attitude!

Gosh. So freaking amazing.

I want to have her attitude.

So, yea.

After such a long post on Mondays and Gloria.

I just wanted to say, Gloria is awesome.

And I want to have that sort of attitude towards life.

I wanna tell myself. 

"Stop being easily embarrassed and always running from things that hurt you.

Why not face it bravely, and see the outcome?"

Go,Eunice!~

Sometimes I wonder how much of what I am putting into this, is reciprocated. 

I find myself so silly when I do my best from the bottom of my heart. You seem so 'busy' to bother.

So is this how my friends feel when I can't be bothered with what they do for me? 

Is this the reason why you are like that? To show me that , this is how they feel whenever they try their best for me?

I can't help to detest you at times, but yet I love you so much. 

It seemed as if as time passes, it seem to matter less. I no longer feel that burning admiration for you. I no longer 'worship' you. My friend, what has happened to you and I?

Am I the only one who feels this way.

You are always busy.

朋友，你忘了吗。

Yes, you seem to forgot everything I have always done for you.

At least, our friend treasures the littlest things. I'm thankful for that.

But..

Don't you know that. If you don't use your heart to remember, how would you ever remember.

算了，我们还是朋友。

但是，我不想再努力了。

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I just need to rant about all this nonsense I have been feeling.

Your instagram doesn't help.

You aren't really busy. 

我好厌倦

But I will keep that important phrase in my head.

"用平常心对待任何事＂

I can't seem to breathe and rest easy. 

Sometimes, I just want to run away from everything. Just drop everything as it is and leave it be. Without thinking who will be implicated by my actions. 

But I can't..Because I know, by doing that. My family would never hear the end of it. People will mock and laugh. Being Asian, 'face' is everything. It's really important. And my mother, even though she emphasize that she isn't bothered by that. I know she truly is. But to reassure us, she usually say "it's ok la.. I'm not worried" but the underlying message is "please.. Don't do that k? People will talk and stuff, so lao kui."

And.. I'm really tempted to write down something else regarding the family. But it's freaking personal. Because 'one does not wash dirty linen in the public' (CHINESE SAYING) 

And if I do, I gotta private my blog.

I don't want to.

What I can summarize is, everybody love 'face' , and it will pretty much mean that they will do anything, say anything, to retain the 'face' of theirs.

All I know, throughout these years of growing up, listening, observing what people did; it's quite scary to know some things and its very disheartening. 

It makes me feel as if that trust is malleable. It could be broken, formed again based on some conversation, then broken again due to personal needs.

But then, again..

If I was to tell someone in my extended family about this. Wouldn't you think, that I would just be digging my grave?

This knowledge only came to me, after I realized that 'To Trust' someone.. Isn't that easy nor simple.

I really want to learn how to trust people; and be able to see what their true intentions are.

I'm quite stupid, so theae attribute doesn't come easy. Or maybe too easy( in trusting someone).

有好多要说的，但是却说不出。

如果连最亲的也要防，那外人不是要键好几个墙了吗？

Tutorial:

Tutorial:

Tutorial:
I will think of what I wanna say when I think of it. PEACE OUTTTTTTTTT.