ยปControlling emotions
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sometimes, to control one's emotions takes power.
Abusing my blog again.. by ranting.
Im sorry, this makes me looks like I am filled with angst at all time.
But im not..
Im just having my bad days today,
and I have taken in too much negative comments from others..
But also, im harboring negative thoughts lately.
Its difficult not to, because I tend to repeat those negative stuff people says to me.
And it kinda leads me to think about other negative stuff.
xue(3) jia(1) chen(2) shuang(1)
cant type chinese here, so put pinyin.
It means, add snow become a blanket of snow. (or smthing like that)
Yeaa, so im pretty upset about things I hear.
And seriously, i have low self esteem..
My self esteem is like a lizard,
but I tend to mentally boost myself to look like a frill lizard.
Go google whats frill lizard.
So yeaaaa, I am not exactly someone who is confident.
But I know how to feign it at times.
Especially when things are going my way, and whenever im happy.
I tend to feel confident.
But deep down low, I have very lowwww self esteem.
lol, damn sad.
Thats why im not one who can withstand psychological taunting or comments.
Regarding.. my weight and size and appearance..
And these few days, these has been coming out from someone I dont like.
Im close to hating this person but not yet.. (soon , i think)
And it hurts.
Hello, Im not made of steel, wood, or any inanimate object in this universe.
Im a damn human, who (over)thinks, emotional and really sensitive.
Also, I have very low self esteem.
(Dont freaking abuse the knowledge that I have low self esteem)
You can gtfo of my friendship, if you are like that.
And fuck you.
So, yup.
I was feeling really raw from all this comments chaffing the past few days.
And it didnt help that he had to rub my wound again.
Laughing at what I eat, how i do things, my size, my skin condition.
Ohplease, DO I NOT FUCKING KNOW THAT?!
I have someone close to me CONSTANTLY reminding me that I have my dad genes.
Yea, my mother.
So I dont need to have you shooting bullets through me.
Thank you so much.
I dont know, I am filled with angst and stuff.
But cannot be helped, cos I cant UNTHINK all these upset stuff.
And fyi ; things said to a child..
Will always remain with a child.
Trust me, it takes constant reminder/praise (not excessive) that a child is good..
To make this child grow up strong in his cognitive ways.
But all it takes, is ONE 1 negative comment..
And you will be gunning down those self confidence a kid tries hard to develop.
Why am I so sure about this?
Been there and done that.
Im so upset about this.
Really.
Dont need to add to the stuff I face at work.
I still have half a saturday to go through.
I wanna request alternate saturdays off. ):
Please, 3 months probation.
Please hurry up.
Ok, ranting completed.
Trying to calm down now.
Time to delete teh cookies from the desktop.
Ciao. <3
Oh, yenxi..!
I MISS YOU ALOT. :D
I cant wait for november/december.
XOXO girlfriend~!
words spilled @ 7/22/2011 06:08:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
