»Invisible..
Saturday, February 06, 2010
"I really need a heartwarming hug and some soothing words.."
I am feeling terrible.
Emotional repercussions, I mean..
My presence is getting dimmed each time I appear.
Soon, I will become invisible in people's eyes.
I am thankful to my family for being able to 'see' me.
Sometimes, I dont feel I am there at all.
I just want to find a space alone and sit there.
If I dont need to talk.
I wont..
So, it wont be so uncomfortable.
Not for you or me.
I am being judged.
Everyone apparently has their score book ready in their hands.
Ready to strike off marks when I make a fool of myself.
I dont care what outside think of me.
But I just feel so scared and timid that I am judged over and over again.
I am going to disappear.
Another obstacle..
Another fearful time..
I am feeling terrible.
Emotional repercussions, I mean..
My presence is getting dimmed each time I appear.
Soon, I will become invisible in people's eyes.
I am thankful to my family for being able to 'see' me.
Sometimes, I dont feel I am there at all.
I just want to find a space alone and sit there.
If I dont need to talk.
I wont..
So, it wont be so uncomfortable.
Not for you or me.
I am being judged.
Everyone apparently has their score book ready in their hands.
Ready to strike off marks when I make a fool of myself.
I dont care what outside think of me.
But I just feel so scared and timid that I am judged over and over again.
I am going to disappear.
Another obstacle..
Another fearful time..
Labels: helpless, rantings, sad
words spilled @ 2/06/2010 12:34:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»its my life and the way i live it
Sunday, May 24, 2009
" you speak bird language to birds, not english."
Reached home at 12.30am.
hahas. (:
watched Night at the Museum 2 with my family.
the movie is pretty cool.
quite funny,actually.
Had many great laughs at the silly things. (:
And when did tampinese's golden village became so cold?
even daddy and bro will feeling chilly.
thank goodness i brought my jacket.
anyway, my day was kinda wasted, again
didnt study, didnt do anything useful.
all i did was,sleep.
-___-
i think i am the sleepy monster.
i can keep sleeping and sleeping like there's no end.
woke up at 1plus to use the toilet.
then woke up at 3 to pick the phone.
then finally, alas..
woke up at 5 plus cos the phone rang.
urgh, this cant go on. -__-
anyway..
Im off to watch khun's mnet scandal.
khun lovers out there.
dont cry,alright..?
it will be painful thou..
lemme put it here. xD
Enough crying?
Time to cheer urself up..
Here's Khun's sexy danceeee
hohohs.
this boy is cute cute cute to the MAXIMUM.
and taeks + maknae's cheap dance.
dorkiness. (x
anyway,condolences to S.korea's former president.
he fell when he was hiking today afternoon.
thats why out of respect, Star King, music core = no screening.
nvm,wait for next week.
kekes. (x
and yes, people have been saying that they cant view my blog.
wonder why.. hmms.
but i guess it's the video and pics spam that is running through my blog.
haha.
oopsie!
Reached home at 12.30am.
hahas. (:
watched Night at the Museum 2 with my family.
the movie is pretty cool.
quite funny,actually.
Had many great laughs at the silly things. (:
And when did tampinese's golden village became so cold?
even daddy and bro will feeling chilly.
thank goodness i brought my jacket.
anyway, my day was kinda wasted, again
didnt study, didnt do anything useful.
all i did was,sleep.
-___-
i think i am the sleepy monster.
i can keep sleeping and sleeping like there's no end.
woke up at 1plus to use the toilet.
then woke up at 3 to pick the phone.
then finally, alas..
woke up at 5 plus cos the phone rang.
urgh, this cant go on. -__-
anyway..
Im off to watch khun's mnet scandal.
khun lovers out there.
dont cry,alright..?
it will be painful thou..
lemme put it here. xD
Enough crying?
Time to cheer urself up..
Here's Khun's sexy danceeee
hohohs.
this boy is cute cute cute to the MAXIMUM.
and taeks + maknae's cheap dance.
dorkiness. (x
anyway,condolences to S.korea's former president.
he fell when he was hiking today afternoon.
thats why out of respect, Star King, music core = no screening.
nvm,wait for next week.
kekes. (x
and yes, people have been saying that they cant view my blog.
wonder why.. hmms.
but i guess it's the video and pics spam that is running through my blog.
haha.
oopsie!
Labels: 2PM, happy, movies with family, my day, sad
words spilled @ 5/24/2009 02:34:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»take the pain away as you go
Saturday, January 17, 2009
- "boy, you are the sunlight in the dark room i am in.."
but where are you now, when i need you the most..? -
its saturday.
and im not that emo.
still emo, but not still..
im feeling better.
cos i know the pain wont come biting till the weekdays.
this is something that i dont wanna say,
cos..
it will only hurt.
dont listen, ignore my pleas for help.
im just crying for the sake of it.
- "Oh, I should have realised..
You were gone the moment when I started needing you.." -
Reality is just as harsh as it seems.
you thought it would be pretty sweet.
but when it falls back to square one,
it doesnt taste the same anymore.
- " reality sunk in the moment when i saw you again.." -
Im so tired, regretful of things I did.
stupid,foolish mistakes.
'Paying for what you did..'
I can hear myself repeating this in my head.
Ahhh..
This is what I deserve for being so stupid and foolish.
Paying for what I have did when I had fun.
Playing with fire, will somehow burn you..
Now, am I tasting the aftermath.
The feeling of being burnt.
The pain..
Im so tired, so afraid what is about to come to me.
I feel like stopping this bullshit.
Turning back time and pressing the 'Restart' button.
Like..
When you die, just press ' restart' and you will be back at where you last been.
I just want to do that.
But yes,
Reality..
that is impossible...
So now...
I have to start being realistic..
I have to start,right..?
i have to...
Face the punishment for the sins I have done..
- "Finally, she realized..
He did not even belong to her from the start.." -
sucha fool,i am...
but where are you now, when i need you the most..? -
its saturday.
and im not that emo.
still emo, but not still..
im feeling better.
cos i know the pain wont come biting till the weekdays.
this is something that i dont wanna say,
cos..
it will only hurt.
dont listen, ignore my pleas for help.
im just crying for the sake of it.
- "Oh, I should have realised..
You were gone the moment when I started needing you.." -
Reality is just as harsh as it seems.
you thought it would be pretty sweet.
but when it falls back to square one,
it doesnt taste the same anymore.
- " reality sunk in the moment when i saw you again.." -
Im so tired, regretful of things I did.
stupid,foolish mistakes.
'Paying for what you did..'
I can hear myself repeating this in my head.
Ahhh..
This is what I deserve for being so stupid and foolish.
Paying for what I have did when I had fun.
Playing with fire, will somehow burn you..
Now, am I tasting the aftermath.
The feeling of being burnt.
The pain..
Im so tired, so afraid what is about to come to me.
I feel like stopping this bullshit.
Turning back time and pressing the 'Restart' button.
Like..
When you die, just press ' restart' and you will be back at where you last been.
I just want to do that.
But yes,
Reality..
that is impossible...
So now...
I have to start being realistic..
I have to start,right..?
i have to...
Face the punishment for the sins I have done..
- "Finally, she realized..
He did not even belong to her from the start.." -
sucha fool,i am...
Labels: regret, resentful..., sad, tired and drained., upset
words spilled @ 1/17/2009 09:34:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
