»Silence sounds so good now.
Monday, June 28, 2010
I have never been very close with boys.
Unless, we have common friends or common topics.
If not, I wouldnt hang out or talk to them.
I am always the 'awkward turtle' when I am with boys.
Sure, i have guy friends.
But not much.
The guys normally I can talk to, are soft spoken ones.
Or those who are as loud as me.
Or crappish people.
And no offense, but I communicate better with malay guys.
Like it feels that they do not judge,
so it feels very comfortable for me to talk to them.
I usually have the thoughts that I may have the pheromones that attracts girls to me.
Like pretty girls, so I am usually friends with cute and pretty girls.
But mostly to those who are really nice in the inside.
(LOL, i watch too much anime. Hahah..)
But sometimes, I really secretly wished;
That I was those types of girls who can talk to boys without;
Feeling or looking awkward.
I do have ALOT of friends who are like this.
They are really close to boys.
Their best friends are well; boys.
haha.
I have once imagined if I was like that..
Then I would be dead.
Hahah, cos I am a very sensitive person.
Not forgetting, emotional.
I tend to fall for people who are nice to me.
Like, if you helped me or something.
I will like you.
LOL.
(I am totally exposed right here!!)
So, if thats the case..
My friendships wont last.
Wouldn't it?
Thats why sometimes, it really bugs me.
As I remembered what my secondary school english teacher said (Ms Jasmine Lee),
Guys & Girls rarely have PLATONIC friendships.
Its pretty much like rubbish.
Girls and guys come together.
Or maybe guys?
For one reason, just to date.
Hahah. Its true.
Based on my past experience and what I see from the friends around me
; this is pretty much true.
Once they realize they cant date you, they just fly off.
Maybe not ALL boys.
But most cases happens like this.
Isn't it.
-Sigh-
i hope this wasnt counted as an emo post.
Cos I said I want to lessen those posts.
haha.
Been having the tumblr-ing sessions.
Love the pics.
Anyway, Monday is well.. the day where you have the blues.
I am having them. Bleah.
And how I wish; I was more truthful to the people who cares for me.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say.
Because, there is a risk.
Even though good friends we may be, but..
Secrets tends to get slipped out.
So, I will keep this mum..
Among the circle.
Sorry guys. ):
I will tell you guys 1 day.
I would! But not now..
So lessons were boring as usual.
Facci, another new one.
but better than previous week, lol!
I just didnt have the mood.
I just kept tumblring.
I know i am procrastinating.
Cant help it.
(SUCH AN EXCUSE)
Saw him today, but...
What really happened?
I just pretend.
Bullshit la.
Pssh, nonsense only.
Cos I am getting jealous over nothing.
They were just chatting, so?!!!!
wtf, I believe im the 'possesive' type.
lol.
Just now in bus, was showing the pictures from tumblr to amanda.
She likes it too!
There is a quite a few pics we agreed on.
lol,
Like the one I posted in top.
"Friends we may be. But can we dont be friends?"
Cos I think I love you.
P.S even though we had a long talk.
The longest one ever!!
Like compared to our other conversation.
Yesterday night, so far..
Was the longest!
But sadly, sometimes..
my heart just goes to a 'force close'
I dont know, in my eyes..
You are just so almighty.
You are a tree that wont be uprooted,
no matter how strong the winds were.
But we are all humans, arent we?
*sigh*
Even Amanda thinks that because 我得不到你;
that's why i crave so much for you.
I am scared, once I have gotten what I want.
I will just throw you away.
And break you once again.
You look strong, but inside..
Lays a porcelain heart.
Maybe for the benefit of me and you,
I have to make sure I really really will treat with you care.
And not have any issues with how you look, how you talk or how you act.
Its silly of me to think like this.
but i dont want to hurt another person.
Sigh, but for now.
I just know..
I am craving for you really badly.
I like you, you silly doofus.
I like how you care about how I feel.
or how am I feeling.
Even though I know it might just be a lie. (:
Unless, we have common friends or common topics.
If not, I wouldnt hang out or talk to them.
I am always the 'awkward turtle' when I am with boys.
Sure, i have guy friends.
But not much.
The guys normally I can talk to, are soft spoken ones.
Or those who are as loud as me.
Or crappish people.
And no offense, but I communicate better with malay guys.
Like it feels that they do not judge,
so it feels very comfortable for me to talk to them.
I usually have the thoughts that I may have the pheromones that attracts girls to me.
Like pretty girls, so I am usually friends with cute and pretty girls.
But mostly to those who are really nice in the inside.
(LOL, i watch too much anime. Hahah..)
But sometimes, I really secretly wished;
That I was those types of girls who can talk to boys without;
Feeling or looking awkward.
I do have ALOT of friends who are like this.
They are really close to boys.
Their best friends are well; boys.
haha.
I have once imagined if I was like that..
Then I would be dead.
Hahah, cos I am a very sensitive person.
Not forgetting, emotional.
I tend to fall for people who are nice to me.
Like, if you helped me or something.
I will like you.
LOL.
(I am totally exposed right here!!)
So, if thats the case..
My friendships wont last.
Wouldn't it?
Thats why sometimes, it really bugs me.
As I remembered what my secondary school english teacher said (Ms Jasmine Lee),
Guys & Girls rarely have PLATONIC friendships.
Its pretty much like rubbish.
Girls and guys come together.
Or maybe guys?
For one reason, just to date.
Hahah. Its true.
Based on my past experience and what I see from the friends around me
; this is pretty much true.
Once they realize they cant date you, they just fly off.
Maybe not ALL boys.
But most cases happens like this.
Isn't it.
-Sigh-
i hope this wasnt counted as an emo post.
Cos I said I want to lessen those posts.
haha.
Been having the tumblr-ing sessions.
Love the pics.
Anyway, Monday is well.. the day where you have the blues.
I am having them. Bleah.
And how I wish; I was more truthful to the people who cares for me.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say.
Because, there is a risk.
Even though good friends we may be, but..
Secrets tends to get slipped out.
So, I will keep this mum..
Among the circle.
Sorry guys. ):
I will tell you guys 1 day.
I would! But not now..
So lessons were boring as usual.
Facci, another new one.
but better than previous week, lol!
I just didnt have the mood.
I just kept tumblring.
I know i am procrastinating.
Cant help it.
(SUCH AN EXCUSE)
Saw him today, but...
What really happened?
I just pretend.
Bullshit la.
Pssh, nonsense only.
Cos I am getting jealous over nothing.
They were just chatting, so?!!!!
wtf, I believe im the 'possesive' type.
lol.
Just now in bus, was showing the pictures from tumblr to amanda.
She likes it too!
There is a quite a few pics we agreed on.
lol,
Like the one I posted in top.
"Friends we may be. But can we dont be friends?"
Cos I think I love you.
P.S even though we had a long talk.
The longest one ever!!
Like compared to our other conversation.
Yesterday night, so far..
Was the longest!
But sadly, sometimes..
my heart just goes to a 'force close'
I dont know, in my eyes..
You are just so almighty.
You are a tree that wont be uprooted,
no matter how strong the winds were.
But we are all humans, arent we?
*sigh*
Even Amanda thinks that because 我得不到你;
that's why i crave so much for you.
I am scared, once I have gotten what I want.
I will just throw you away.
And break you once again.
You look strong, but inside..
Lays a porcelain heart.
Maybe for the benefit of me and you,
I have to make sure I really really will treat with you care.
And not have any issues with how you look, how you talk or how you act.
Its silly of me to think like this.
but i dont want to hurt another person.
Sigh, but for now.
I just know..
I am craving for you really badly.
I like you, you silly doofus.
I like how you care about how I feel.
or how am I feeling.
Even though I know it might just be a lie. (:
Labels: boys, but i love u.., day in school, everyday life.
words spilled @ 6/28/2010 04:24:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»Brushing past
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I have realised, I am very unhealthy.
Especially the state of my mind.
After reading through my friend's blogs, I have realised.
How I pale in comparison to them.
Especially with my recent emo postings.
Argh, even reading my post makes me feel horrible.
I will try to cut down on those!
So, here comes the updates.
On Thursday night, I had a nice surprise from a best friend of mine.
(Actually, more of a friday morning.)
Grace called me!
I didnt know she called me though,
till I went to my room to take something.
And I saw, a missed call!
Apparently, I get worried if a best friend calls me late at night.
As, she doesnt do that at all.
Ok, who in the right mind will call someone in wee morning.
Unless something happened, right?
So I immediately called her back; (it was around 1am+)
And; guess what..?
What she did was endearing!
She asked what happened to me,
as her (neglected) twitter was filled with emo-ness from me.
And we talked for around 15minutes plus.
That 15minutes ; was precious..
I thank her, because she called as she was worried about me.
I was really touched.
Thanks gal, thank u!
I love u alotttt! ok?~!
Like what you said, i am just a few missed calls away. :P
But beside her, there are many people who were concerned about me.
Especially with my shaky psychological state.
My friends from my class were heartwarming, as usual.
My friends from other classes too.
Even friends whom I didnt meet; comforted me.
Thank you!!
So, that was friday wee morning.
As for the rest of the day, at 8am.
Singapore once again had lots of rain.
I heard the rain pelting on my windows, so I decided to snooze my alarm.
And go back to sleep.
Weird, I woke up at 10:45 because I needed to pee.
And the sky lightened,but there was still rain.
So, I washed up and changed my clothes.
because eileen texted me. heee.
So i went for school.
reached school at 12 plus.
did some work, had ban mian for lunch.
and ohyea! eileen..
I owe u money!
I realised I was broke when I opened my wallet.
really, I am broke.
not even a coin!
Spendthrift.
Had lunch, and well..
Presentation for 3 teams were pretty fast.
JB helped me to tell facci, that i did work and etc.
Thanks dude!
After 6P,go through UT answers.
Sighh, I hope I dont get another D!
PLEASE! NO!
Then end of lesson..
Talked to friends on MSN.
Suddenly, my hand started itching.
Draw on the board and I thought of an idea.
Play HANGMAN!
My favourite game. hahah!
And the class, I mean (remaining) classmates;
were pretty enthusiastic! haha.
I really had so much fun!
thanks guys. (:
Lol, I kinda remembered the scores.
CK - 2
Yenfi - 2
Wan - 1
Amanda - 1
Eileen - 1
I think thats all? hahah.
Ok, actually..
During the game I screwed up.
gave wrong descript for 'Prodigy'.. LOL
Haaa, had so much fun.
Thanks to amanda too.
she stayed back. (:
So, walked to interchange with the usual gang.
And we were talking; me and amanda were.
I said about nate and etc.
Cos I admitted, I told another person.
because i needed someone who can see whats going on..
And tell me what to do.
*sigh*
Then ziheng and amanda said; it was a wrong move.
because, I will just make it harder for me to forget.
BLEAH!
But so far; the responses I have gotten are pretty wide ranged;
- Dont give up, fight for it.
- Forget him, he maybe playing arounf
- Forget him unless u are really serious abt it.
- Dont give up, unless hes taken.
Sigh, how?!
You tell me how??!!
Now I have to make a decision amoung these choices.
Woah, hugeee man.
I need time. *sigh*
Ok, off with emo stuff.
Let me update u on saturday! Today.
Went to JB with my family.
I love family days.
I am a super family oriented girl, alright?!
Before heading to JB, went to compass point.
Buy toto and world cup matches.
And I saw the water bottle I like gg for $11~~ WAAA.
I like! (Y)
So, today was the first time I went JB.
Went to the causeway link, drive there..
Went to a market place for lunch; super yummeh!
The crayfish there is , like 2 or 3 times bigger than Singapore's.
yet so much cheaper.
Singapore; NO QC!!
After that, headed to a plaza.
Cant remember the name, went shopping!
hahah.
But the prices of the things in JB is almost the same as Singapore.
Sometimes, much more expensive.
not worth.
But bought a lil something.
Gotten myself fake nails, makeup and a hair clip!
Plus, I bought discs! :D
Gossip Girls, ahah!
Well, then had dinner at the Jap restaurant.
HORRIBLE FOOD; I tell you.
Damn gross.
After that, go home..
So now I am here blogging, and I have found out that;
the command of my english language has dropped drastically.
I am not speaking properly english.
Let alone type it.
Urgh, time to cut down on nonsense!
Another few points I want to make!
- Facebook sucks; keep having weird problems.
Such as telling me people commented on my status.
And when I check, all the comments are gone!
(Even previous comments from others!)
-Tumblr is an awesome and cheap therapist!
Love the quotes and pictures.
-I have a USB internet thingy from SIngtel.
Love it to bitssss.
- I thought of you alot, but I covered u with other stuff.
Sigh, I miss you. But its alright. :D
I am ok!
- I am dead tired, nights!
I will still like u! (I DONT KNOW!)
Especially the state of my mind.
After reading through my friend's blogs, I have realised.
How I pale in comparison to them.
Especially with my recent emo postings.
Argh, even reading my post makes me feel horrible.
I will try to cut down on those!
So, here comes the updates.
On Thursday night, I had a nice surprise from a best friend of mine.
(Actually, more of a friday morning.)
Grace called me!
I didnt know she called me though,
till I went to my room to take something.
And I saw, a missed call!
Apparently, I get worried if a best friend calls me late at night.
As, she doesnt do that at all.
Ok, who in the right mind will call someone in wee morning.
Unless something happened, right?
So I immediately called her back; (it was around 1am+)
And; guess what..?
What she did was endearing!
She asked what happened to me,
as her (neglected) twitter was filled with emo-ness from me.
And we talked for around 15minutes plus.
That 15minutes ; was precious..
I thank her, because she called as she was worried about me.
I was really touched.
Thanks gal, thank u!
I love u alotttt! ok?~!
Like what you said, i am just a few missed calls away. :P
But beside her, there are many people who were concerned about me.
Especially with my shaky psychological state.
My friends from my class were heartwarming, as usual.
My friends from other classes too.
Even friends whom I didnt meet; comforted me.
Thank you!!
So, that was friday wee morning.
As for the rest of the day, at 8am.
Singapore once again had lots of rain.
I heard the rain pelting on my windows, so I decided to snooze my alarm.
And go back to sleep.
Weird, I woke up at 10:45 because I needed to pee.
And the sky lightened,but there was still rain.
So, I washed up and changed my clothes.
because eileen texted me. heee.
So i went for school.
reached school at 12 plus.
did some work, had ban mian for lunch.
and ohyea! eileen..
I owe u money!
I realised I was broke when I opened my wallet.
really, I am broke.
not even a coin!
Spendthrift.
Had lunch, and well..
Presentation for 3 teams were pretty fast.
JB helped me to tell facci, that i did work and etc.
Thanks dude!
After 6P,go through UT answers.
Sighh, I hope I dont get another D!
PLEASE! NO!
Then end of lesson..
Talked to friends on MSN.
Suddenly, my hand started itching.
Draw on the board and I thought of an idea.
Play HANGMAN!
My favourite game. hahah!
And the class, I mean (remaining) classmates;
were pretty enthusiastic! haha.
I really had so much fun!
thanks guys. (:
Lol, I kinda remembered the scores.
CK - 2
Yenfi - 2
Wan - 1
Amanda - 1
Eileen - 1
I think thats all? hahah.
Ok, actually..
During the game I screwed up.
gave wrong descript for 'Prodigy'.. LOL
Haaa, had so much fun.
Thanks to amanda too.
she stayed back. (:
So, walked to interchange with the usual gang.
And we were talking; me and amanda were.
I said about nate and etc.
Cos I admitted, I told another person.
because i needed someone who can see whats going on..
And tell me what to do.
*sigh*
Then ziheng and amanda said; it was a wrong move.
because, I will just make it harder for me to forget.
BLEAH!
But so far; the responses I have gotten are pretty wide ranged;
- Dont give up, fight for it.
- Forget him, he maybe playing arounf
- Forget him unless u are really serious abt it.
- Dont give up, unless hes taken.
Sigh, how?!
You tell me how??!!
Now I have to make a decision amoung these choices.
Woah, hugeee man.
I need time. *sigh*
Ok, off with emo stuff.
Let me update u on saturday! Today.
Went to JB with my family.
I love family days.
I am a super family oriented girl, alright?!
Before heading to JB, went to compass point.
Buy toto and world cup matches.
And I saw the water bottle I like gg for $11~~ WAAA.
I like! (Y)
So, today was the first time I went JB.
Went to the causeway link, drive there..
Went to a market place for lunch; super yummeh!
The crayfish there is , like 2 or 3 times bigger than Singapore's.
yet so much cheaper.
Singapore; NO QC!!
After that, headed to a plaza.
Cant remember the name, went shopping!
hahah.
But the prices of the things in JB is almost the same as Singapore.
Sometimes, much more expensive.
not worth.
But bought a lil something.
Gotten myself fake nails, makeup and a hair clip!
Plus, I bought discs! :D
Gossip Girls, ahah!
Well, then had dinner at the Jap restaurant.
HORRIBLE FOOD; I tell you.
Damn gross.
After that, go home..
So now I am here blogging, and I have found out that;
the command of my english language has dropped drastically.
I am not speaking properly english.
Let alone type it.
Urgh, time to cut down on nonsense!
Another few points I want to make!
- Facebook sucks; keep having weird problems.
Such as telling me people commented on my status.
And when I check, all the comments are gone!
(Even previous comments from others!)
-Tumblr is an awesome and cheap therapist!
Love the quotes and pictures.
-I have a USB internet thingy from SIngtel.
Love it to bitssss.
- I thought of you alot, but I covered u with other stuff.
Sigh, I miss you. But its alright. :D
I am ok!
- I am dead tired, nights!
I will still like u! (I DONT KNOW!)
Labels: boys, but i love u.., friends, my day, shopping, tumblr, XOXO
words spilled @ 6/27/2010 02:37:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»Let go.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
*PALM-SLAP*"It's Wednesday, and Hoooo; SCREW BODYNITS."
I am late for office again. AS USUAL.
Anyway, I need to start being punctual for class now.
My grades sucks badly.
Damn, everything is in chaos.
For Bodynits, VSM to be submitted in a week.
Si liao Si liao.
UT grades sucks too.
2 D+ ; wa! BEST.
How to go Uni?
Private uni also cannot make it.
How? Now already week 8 of Sem 1.
I dont have much time to buck up.
And the bad thing, is that QC is going to be in the hands of some new guy.
How?!
Good teacher = i score badly.
Bad teacher = can jump down.
Siao.
So, I was suggesting to Amanda.
Need to study with her frequently, and i told her about his grades.
So, she was like ; "You go study with him la!"
Wow, funny.
I am always jumpy when he is around,
Its impossible for me to study with him.
I go into a spasm mode when he is near.
I cant be myself, its that bad!
Bleah, I really hope time slow down.
Because i dont know what am I even doing.
I need to sort everything in order and make it right.
Just like in lean process.
Hwaiting, eunice.
Jiayou.
I was pretty messed up yesterday night.
Was procrastinating because I did not know how to do my RJ.
And my internet is even more messed up.
_|_
Shiok, right?!
I was also wanting to talk to him.
but I didnt want to be a nuisance with the signing in and out.
bloody annoying.
So, I decided to appear offline.
sad ttm.
whats even more sad, i know he's talking to other girls.
ok la, im super possesive! I admit!
Oh well, I just 'sian off' when he talks to other girls.
Its not good, so unhealthy for me.
Anyway, I am really glad.
I have talked to siyun today, and well..
The atmosphere was good, it wasnt hostile.
I really like that feeling.
Probably, I have stopped being mean.
- PROBABLY ONLY, OK?! -
I cannot promise my horrible mouth wont say anything.
But I really kinda like her, better than previously.
So, I had a great day today! (:
I have talked to siyun and I managed to get approval
or acknowledgment from michael and serene.
phew..
I am sooo happy when we left the company.
- glows -
So, brought ammy to buy pancakes.
durian pancakes, and dinner.
So, I just finished dinner and bathed.
Now i am chatting online.
But my internet keeps crashing.
it sucks so badly.
bleahh!
Its worse than Bodynits internet!
My house internet really stinks.
And well, daddy changed the plan to Singtel.
Bro said the speed would be slower.
*cries*
Sian, now..
I again dc-ed from the net.
How awesome.
I cant talk to people in peace without interrupting their chats.
With that status thing.
So horrible.
Starhub, can go fuck urself!
Anyway, I am happy when I talk to him.
But I am no longer as ecstatic as I was previously.
Now, my heart leaps a little when he talks to me online.
Its always a nice surprise to see his chat window there.
I likeeee.
Ok, for the next few para..
You can skip, cos it would be a bit gross to handle.
What I want to say is, I keep thinking..
What will happen if we really get together.
I think of the things we could do.
haha.
But sadly, when I think about it.
I dont want it to happen.
but when I get bored, I will want it to happen.
So horrible. T---T
I like you, but I may just kill you once again.
haaaa.
Ok la, I see whether can I log into MSN or not.
if not, I go sleep! :D
byessss. (;
Labels: boys, but i love u.., friends, fyp, nate, work
words spilled @ 6/23/2010 10:23:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»i miss u, and i still am..
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"Regrets are not suppose to happen.."
Something reminded me of somebody.
It happens so often when something goes terribly wrong.
You lose something..
- a friend/boy/girl
- an important item
but whatever dwells will be memories.
I wonder..
Will I make the same mistakes twice..?
Make someone miserable, when I didnt mean to..?
To lose something, I didnt want to..?
To lose someone without being true..?
It's all about experiences and learning through them.
And hopefully,growing with them.
I wish I can see something more in me.
Like how I have learnt from the past mistakes.
But I can certainly see how the past mistakes have bring me to..
Some lost, some gone, some left, some abadoned..
Such cruel mistakes, such rash decisions.
Built in years of strong foundation;broken..
Held in bliss;gone..
But Im glad..
I have people standing by me.
Teaching,guiding,loving and caring..
-sometimes,you learn and grow with ur mistakes..-
Labels: but i love u.., in pain, life, mistakes.
words spilled @ 3/24/2009 02:11:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
»im so happy.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
"B to the I to the G, B to the A N G..
its BIGBANG"
im so happy.
hahah,im like so in love with taeyang now.
his hot bod and looks are to die for.
and its a lil weird la..
there are actually people who love TOP.
and it was rated that Taeyang is not that famous.
sheesh,hello?..
BIGBANG is 5 which is all LOVES.
hehehes.
ranking?
nahh,i rather not.
all 5 in my number position.
BIGBANG.SUPERJUNIOR.SHINee.
SHINee is cute.
xDDD
anyway,took picture with Jessica,Yenxi,Jazreel.
hehe.
JESSICA,TOP IS MINE!..
All of them,even panda boy seungri too..
xDDD
TAEYANG;DONGYOUNGBAE
TOP;CHOISEUNGHYUN
G-DRAGON;KWONJIYONG
did i just say that its my 200th post..
HUAT AH..!
miss the family gathering..
next time go pray pray,must have fun with the cousins..
xDD
HUAT HUAT HUAT AHHHH!
siala,my korea usher is so SMEXY.
feel like raping him.
lols!
xDDD
I LOVE JESSICA FUNG.
cos she gna lend me the mag which has my bigbang and superjunior.
snsd is in it too..
xDD
Super Junior MMMMMM.
*makes the mmmmmm sound*
Suoer Junior H sound like Super Junior Horny..
Please dun flame me..
DD:
i like them too!
Cooking Cooking!
heheh!
LEESEUNGRI
DAESUNG
BIGBANGistodiefor.
anyway, i went overboard with the SNSD incident.
sighs..
sorry ammy,just felt that its too crazy alr..
DDx
sighs..
sorry ammy,just felt that its too crazy alr..
DDx
did i just say that its my 200th post..
HUAT AH..!
miss the family gathering..
next time go pray pray,must have fun with the cousins..
xDD
HUAT HUAT HUAT AHHHH!
siala,my korea usher is so SMEXY.
feel like raping him.
lols!
xDDD
I LOVE JESSICA FUNG.
cos she gna lend me the mag which has my bigbang and superjunior.
snsd is in it too..
xDD
Super Junior MMMMMM.
*makes the mmmmmm sound*
Suoer Junior H sound like Super Junior Horny..
Please dun flame me..
DD:
i like them too!
Cooking Cooking!
heheh!
Labels: but i love u.., im so sorry
words spilled @ 6/17/2008 10:05:00 AM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
