"Let me run,let me cry.
Don't ask why..
Hug me tight when i need it.."
*SCREAMS

im tired,sad and empty.
emo-ing agn.

these mixed feelings came pouring back to me,
while flashbacks trudged back to me like soldiers;injured.
this few days tired me out.

im tired now,like i was asked to run arnd..
these feelings in me..are weird.
i cant express it,neither can i say it out..

their weary faces passed me,i felt a panged of guilt now.

tell me..
who are those people..
trying to hurt me..?
can someone tell me..?
can someone just hold my hands and tell me that im safe..?
please..
dont make this world so complicated..
tell me those people are true to me..
please..

tauntings..
are enough...
i had enough...
your mask hide the deep animosity towards me.
take it off now,
and leave my world..
go away..

ur cruel words seem so pleasant,
so entertaining..
its draining me..
i cant hold on..
i cant have faith in such a person like you.

GO AWAY,GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

"all you can blame..is you.."
tell me..
why do you have to smile at me..?
please..
stay away from me..
if you want to hurt me..go..
just leave it..

"can i hurt you back..?"
i want to say that to you..
you made me bled..
i think..
u shall pay..
just leave me alone..

i'll drain those memories of you..
you're just a person who hurt me..
i shall forget about those happy moments i had with you.
i shall forget the way you smiled at me..
i shall forget how you taught me to hate a person.
i guess,
im tainted with you..
its too scary..

i will be what i am when i first met you.
i shall grit my teeth and bear my tears..
i have learnt my lessons..
those tears will no longer fall

i'll remember to smile at you..
but i will no longer allow myself to sink in too much.

i'll nt attach too much of you into me.
your corruption shall cease.

Others will teach me..
how to know such a person like you..
i shall recognize you one day.

AHHHHHHHHH!

sorry people..
im baccck! :D
the lil elephant is back!
*smiles brightly.

hmmphs..
this few days has been great.
except for some.
getting back that lousy results.
(dunworry!i'llworkhard&catchupwithuboth!)
being treated like a maid in my hse.
(that didnt sound like a good host,more like a great maid!)
and lastly,my earhole.
(it burned agn! hw nice.. :/)

first;
it was thurs.
(the stupid results day)
went to school,
actually wanted to attend poa,
but didnt.
too depressed.
ohwell,
mistakes.. LOADS mans..
But thank god..
there was someone who cheered me up,
thanks iris..
thank you so much.
*she can be a double faced,
for all i care; but she consoled me..
Always rmb to count my blessings!
i've met a person who stood by me when i cried!

aft emo-ing,
alwee abang kept making me laugh,
then aft much sitting dwn,
i went to play soccer.
lost fats agn!
i did a better kick this time round.. :F
didnt fall!

aft that,
headed to the arcade.
played daytona,
watched the guys play ID.
then..
ant went hme,got tuition.
we hanged arnd,
we decided to head to hougang mall.
me and fish ran like dunno wad.
we kept running till charm's hse.
then we saw a.. a...chicken.
yes,u saw it..
its a CHICKEN in the heartlands!
wow!!
interesting-ness.
when we asked those ppl to come
see the chicken,they went off to another direction.
dumbass. :P
alwee took the bus and went home..
*abang! hw can u!!??
we scared the chicken off while those 2 dumbo
crossed the bridge.
crossed the road and headed to whr hougang stadium is.
when we reached,
the 2 lightning dumbos ran very fast.
me & fish decided to take a shortcut.
we strolled.
*fish;i tot we'll get lost,but we didnt!
we even manage to be faster than them!
then both of us continued to walk,
then they came chasing us back.
And we took our revenge!
we slapped them..!
lols!
then boy gt *angry.
emo-ed off.
went to the Mini Toons,
strolled arnd.
till the library,
me & fish pretended to b pissed.
i wasnt quite the good actor.
so aft the game,i gave up.
aft fooling arnd,fish wanted to go to the playground.
so we headed to the playground.
sat there for quite sometimes. :D
then the details (too long so i wnt say)
he sent me home,i sent him to the bus stop.
ilovedit..
thankyou..
it was the day whr persuasion came in successfully!
yay! mission completa!

Then on friday,
those ppl came my hse.
pple;
sam,amanda,hailmi,alwee,neelam.
watched evan almighty.

met up with him to study an hr before they came.
we studied maths.
we still didnt manage to find the ans for that qns.
sat there, and talked.
found out shocking stuff.
but im nt gna say abt it.

there..
aft some time those ppl trudged to my hse.
those 2 ahsorhs very bigshot.
walk infront..
headed hme and prepared the vid.
but too bad..
aft 15min of fiddling the thing worked.
finally..
watched to movie,and laughed.
so funny.
ohyes,
SAM,CAN LEND ME THE DISC?..
aft that,
played burnout cos alwee kept whining.
played a few rnd of race.
won alwee! :PP
then gt into co.op crashbreaker.
i love this game.
first it was fish and me
agnst alwee and boy.
we lost thou.
then it was me and ant agnst them.
we won!
then switched to
me,ant and fish..
vs the boys.
we won..
did we..?
those guy kept getting heartbreaker.
divideneds.. LOL.
then me & uncle.
won those 2 guys la!
then my mum came home..
*my mum was nt feeling well that day.
greeted her,
and continued.
then abang went home with him.
wanted to.. but cant.
fish is a disruption!

we cntd to play.
we played Halo.
sam kept double-sixed me and amanda.
so friggin pissed sia..
then played arnd.
ohyes!
Fish was Yodler
Boy was Wiggly
Ant was Default
while i was Pirate
so funnie... :DDDDD
Aft yodler gt the 'ghost',she kept owning la.
Wiggly too..
me and amanda were like soo poor thing.
we were trying to figure out how to use the
car thingy..
lol,need cooperation sia!
but still kena owned
So we decided to change maps..
whr..
a rocket launcher is at arm reach..
kept owning them back!
amanda sticked to me! :D
lol
great!
we shall do it agn!!
WE SHALL! :DD

Had fun..
except being treated like a maid.
Hey! thanks for helping me out..
You are always there when i need you!
Ur my SuperMan!

Labels: emptiness filled up

"Yaya! im treasuring you like no one is..
And i love you so.."

AHAHAH!
im being retarted agn.
*sighs; he didnt reply my 4 msgs?
i wonder whats wrong..

Possibilities
1.his mom either confiscated his phone
2.OR he was too tired and fell aslepp.
3.he hates me. D;
(i know im being stupid..)

just talked to mingyan,sam and farhan.
farhan sent me songs!
ohjeez,local talents existing in spore isnt that bad!
and the mingyan..
i shall name her the 'Tempter..'
she tempted me to buy the earrings.. D:
darn!
itchy fingers of mine.. :(
my wallet is gna burn,burn,burn..
Sam talked to me..
*sighs,i just love this fish and the antennae. :D

ohwell!
i shall begin my journey of the 3rd and 4th Sept (today).

3rd Sept 07
Met him up in sengkang..
Got him chocs.. :D
he looks really hawwt in jeans,i must say..!
went to heartland to look for alwee and sam..
the 2nd retard left to join his mum
fishy is lonely man,damn!
lol.
Gamed Intial D with sam.
I won..
as in thrashed her.
lols.. :PP

went to hougang mann with these peep.
took the bus there.. :D
went to eat Long John's Silver.
After getting pranked on,we headed up to the library.
Borrowed some books.
Sam got me some good books!
thanks gal!
after buying rubberbands from Helen.
we went home.

He sent me home..
took the bus home..
sent him home,by walking to the LRT.
*he held my hand tight.

reached home,
then bathed,
did my work and slept.
not exactly..
i finished my book..
the one i borrowed in 2 hrs.. :D
YAY!


The next day..
4th Sept 07
Woke up after my special morning call.
haha.
washed up,
ran arnd the hse,
packed up,left for the bus stop.
met him there.
*he's real sweet. :D

took bus to school,
went to lvl 2,
wanted to use the comp,
yet the comp didnt wna cooperate.. :(

went to find those peeps,
played soccer..
i kept being bullied,
as in they kept scoring on me..
i was sweating like a steaming pau..
after that,
headed to heartland to have lunch.
ate yoshi with angie and friends.
NPCC captain came..
(i dunno how to spell her name,so i skip)
we went off to find the guys..

then took bus to the playground agn!!
played arnd.
then we took the same ride,
this time i almost went sick.. :(

after fooling arnd,
they wanted to play basketball,
so i looked on.
alweee sat down and accompanied me.
talked abt stuff and listened to music.
thanks auel for ur company! :)

he and auel then fetched me home..
lol.
i was so happy.. :D
oh well,
now he repay me by nt replying my sms.. :F

ok then..
i shall stop,but..
a lil something for u ppl.

--------------------------------------------
Chap 2..
"Hey!! have u studied??" she patted playfully on his head.
He smiled and pulled her closer to him.
"Aissh..let go of me.." she said shyly.
He grinned and held her hands into his.
' i love you ' he mouthed the words causing her to blush.
"Go away! anyhow!!" she giggled and walked off,tugging her best friend along.

"Ahhh! why did she have to do that..?
why cant she walk alone and leave my girl alone..?" his friend commented frustratedly.
"haha.i dunno..?.." he grinned and suddenly his heart weighed heavy.

His mother words returned to him.
It hit him hard that he must tell her..
He must not let her suffer..

"heyhey!! u hor..anyhow leh!"
she whacked her friend playfully on the arms.
"you oso ma.. so mushy all that.." her friend teased her back.
"ahhh. no lo.. :P" she retaliated by pinching her friend's tummy.
"Oww! how can you!?" her friend chased her down the stairs.
"okok..stop,stop.. ..... Has he held your hands yet?" she eyed at her friend.
Trying to look for any clue of reaction.
"Ummm" her friend stammered..

'darn! why did she have to ask...' her friend thought as she felt her face burned.

"You did!? right?!" she exclaimed happily and hugged her friend tightly.
"im so happy for you!" she said after catching her breath from squealing.
"haha.thank you.. you too ma,you 2 progress until vry far.." her friend teased her.
"yea... but.." immeadiatly, her smile turned into a frown.
"Why?..what's wrong..?" her friend asked caringly.
"You see,i feel that he's hiding something from me.." she sulked as she thought.
"Oh..why not qns him.. as in lure him to tell u the ans.." her friend suggested slyly.
"Oh.. ok..." she thought it was a great idea.

'i must tell her..she must know..' he thought sadly.
'i must know! i'll find it out!' she thought energetically.


END.. : D
how was the chapter 2..?

Labels: SMILING for the 1stmonth.

its a lil small.
im sorry thou..
Got f-cked by my dad.
he scolded me,
which lead to malfunction of my little brains.

forfucksake,whycantheleavemealone?!
darnhim.

iloveyou,yeticanhateyoulikeSHIT!

darn!
the picture cant be uploaded.SHIT. D:
ohwell,
will post it next time.
shit this picture.

*sorry..
seriously,im really mad and hot headed now.
ahhh!!

"shit,i forgot!"

Ahhh..
On saturday,
went to the gym with fishy.
(i wonder how do fishes work out?)
ran the threadmill for 20mins.
shiokenism
*im losing fats,yo!

And..
i forgot one thing..
i made sam wait for me for 30 mins.
sorry. D:
ms.late queen apologise to fishy.

anyway,after running,
went to do some training on my arms and legs.. :D
tone myself up!

both elephants and fish walked to Hougang Mall.
Met the antennae.
*sighs,sometimes i really feel guilty for doing these to her.

Ate at Han's with them
Fats loss + Han's = Extra calo. D:
shyt. D:

after breakfast,headed to Challenger to see the thumbdrive,
amanda wants one. :D
after that,we walked arnd the mall.
Me and amanda bought shoelaces. :D
purple and black while amanda's is red and purple. :DD

went to ntuc to buy thing,
then we all walked to the bus stop.
amanda took the mrt,
while i took 62 home..

smsed them both and talked.
seriously,im beginning to feel clinged to them now.
they're special to me..

went home and rest..
i fell asleep thou..
went out in the noon,
went to Suntec;COMEX.
super squeezy la..
saw matthew there.. :D
Hi,Kor! :DD
he from selling cameras to selling laptops. lol!

went hime and rested.
was damn tired.
while he was out partying. :D
lol,partaye animal! :DD

currently listening to SNSD'S into the New World..
Seriously,i love Hyoyeon! she's hawwt ,man!
I wna do the dance move she did! :D
cmon,O's get over with it.
and back comes hiphop into my life agn!..

MY STORY BELOW.. : DDD
Enjoy!!

Labels: sotong

"hey..i really love you.." she held his hand while walking to the bus stop.
"...." there were no replies.
"Chey..Cmon,just reply me..?" she lamented while shaking his hands.
"What's wrong..?" She stopped and asked when she saw the expression on his face.
"Nothing.." He grimaced,his grip tightened as they crossed the road.
"Are you sure..?" she quizzed while blinking her eyes.
"Yea.." he reached out to her hair and fuzzed it..
"hmmph! my hair's messy enough alr!" she giggled and threw his hand off her head.
"Its ok.. I just love the way you are.Silly and really chatty.." he smiled and held her hand into his.
"Seriously..ur acting really weird,you know..?" she looked at him while shuffling his hair.

'I just love how his hair manages to stay the same even how many times i mess it up!'
she thought happily to herself.

"Anyway..what are you planning to do after you go home..?" she flashed her smile, which made her eyes squint.
"I dunno..? probably,i'll bathe,go online and do my work..?" his reply was not in the usual way.
"HEY! you are hiding something from me!!" She stood up and stated her mind.
"I can feel it!! Girls have strong 6th sense!!" she blabbered before he opened his mouth.
"Relax..it's really nothing.." He lied and reassured her.

'Sigh,Should i say..?..sighs..' he thought gloomily.

"Really...??" she stressed and moved his face towards her.
"Look into MY EYES! i wna seek the truth...!" she stared into his eyes sternly.
"Hahah.." he looked away as he was afraid that she would see that he was lying..
"Why did you turn away!" she barked and slapped his hands.
"You look very..cute when you do that.." he forced a laugh.
"You're lying..! I know.. :( I..wna.." before she completed her sentence,he stood up.
"There's my bus..Bye.. :) " he smiled sadly and walked off to board the bus.
"Off you go now! Go home.." he waved at her to go home and smiled.

After her shadow left,his bus started moving.
There he was.. thinking what his mother said previously..

"I' VE TOLD YOU! NOT TO GET INTO RELATIONSHIP!"
his mother barked at him angrily,while he remained silent.
"YOUR SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES NOT ON GIRLS!"
his mother cried angrily as she paced around.
"Relax..relax..he's still a young man.. Young man makes mistakes.."

'Ah..there he goes again..Sighs..Why did ma know bout this..?'
he thought and sighed tiredly.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE IS DOING THIS TO ME!?"
his mother cried hoarsely while sitting in the living room.
"IF I HAVE NOT STEPPED OUT OF THE HOUSE, I WOULD HAVE BEEN KEPT IN THE DARK..HOW LONG YOU WANT TO KEEP THIS FROM ME?!"
his mother screamed depressingly.
"Ma..please dont get too angry.. Its not good for your health..."
his elder sister cooed while trying to calm her down.

After getting scolded and left without dinner to eat,
he went to his room.
Saw his handphone flashing..
'Its her agn,the silly girl..' he sighed and unknowingly, his tears fell.
His tears did not fall when his mother punished him..
But yet, a cheery msg from her made him breakdown.

Those flashback came back..
He looked out and thought of the days he spent with her.
He thought of her laughter and smile..
Then he thought..
'why did this happen...?'
he let out a deep breath and burrowed his face into his hands..

'How am i going to break this news to her..?
Neither do i want to hear her cry or hurt her in any other ways...'
He thought and shook his head sadly.

Why God..? Why did you make this happen..? Why is she gonna suffer along with me..?

To be continued...

-----s a r a n g h a e ; i l u------

hahah!
This story is just a lil sneak peek!
Im so back into writing stories.. :D
After the O's time to scribble!!
SMILE & ENJOY.
jeez,its gna be 4am soon.
If you ever see this,
you wont believe im gna have my O's this Oct.. :/

Dance Floor Anthem;
baby,that's MUSIC!

Labels: Chapt 1

"nothing beats love and friendship"

ohhwell..
another day..
work work..
*lol. WoW. ^^"

hmms..
i have nothing to talk abt..
ok then,
shall talk bout our plans..
No,my plans..

On Monday:
Study at home..

On Tuesday:
Go school, finish my F&N.
Come my hse or Go sam hse to watch movie.
Par torh.. :DD

On Wednesday:
Get class tshirt fixed..

On Thursday:
Study at home..
Then ask zhenling out?

Friday:
Study at home..
Meet him..

Saturday:
Tuition..

Sunday:
The BIG 4 meeting.
:D
ladies time out!
guys;u may start gossiping too. :)

ohwell.
thats all.

im so into Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls.. :D

Labels: longing for perfection

" i wanna be childish! :P
Cos i already am.. "

-im nt gna reply ur msgses,
cos u didnt want me to send you home. D:

Woohoo!
been playing bball this couple of days.
*its shiok,yet tiring. lol.

For yesterday,
it was sam,neelam,hailmi,and i.
we came to my house and played bball.
lol.
very happy . :D
i was totally enjoying sam's company..
sam,we completed our first quest! :D
(u shld know what im talking abt.. :))

those ppl came to my hse while i pumped the ball.
hailmi wanted to use my comp to play RS,
yet the comp lagged on him..
it still is. :(

after all the hussle,
we went down to play bball,
this time round we played ABC,
yet im still stucked at the same spot.
DARN!
sam is getting better,
i will improve! :D

after playing arnd,
i sweated like dunno wad.
i was friggin wet and all that.
then that guy went home,
stupid ass,he didnt want me to send him home..
cos they were waiting for me. D:
while i continued playing with them.
played arnd like 40 mins,
we left due to some bball guys,
they were pretty bored as they see use just slacking there. lol.
went home to rest,
then the 2 played xbox,
they were rather amusing to me,
like...artefacts.
i felt so weird inside.
i finally know how the singles feel arnd us. lol.
amanda called and i chatted with her,
while the 2 kept *screaming at the background.
we were playing burnout..
then,they were playing the crash mode.
called him back,
cos i missed him.
talked abt the plans,
that were supposed to be set for TODAY. (31.08.07)
then somebody cancelled it.
wanted to go rollerblading. D:
even i suggested to amanda to bring our skates along! D:
my bro then came back,
and i placed the phone down to sent the 2 down.
after sending them home,
i went back and bathed,
watched tv with my family,
and then went to sleep.
was too tired.
slept at arnd 8 or 9 pm.
remembered hearing my mum and dad,
helping me to put blanket and 'on-ning' the aircon for me.
(i love my family so much! saranghae!)

slept straight till 6.
lol. :D
put on contacts and saw the msg by
neelam and Amanda.
was pretty disappointed that we couldn't go,
but oh well,
i was deciding what to bring,was in a dilemma.
lol!

took dad's car to school,
my bro brought the electrical guitar and the bass.
shiok sia. lol
was pretty late when we left the hse,
and actually wanted to be very late,
my mum actually suggested to send me home as i was gg to be late.
then i said no,
i waned to see him.
(of course,i said another reason)
then i suggested eating lor-mee,
so i can arrive school arnd 8..
then dun need waste time to do exercise or get embarassed.

luckily,my watch stated 07:22.
i was not late,
so dad rushed to send me to school,
went into the hall,
saw my gals,
neither of them brought bags. D:

the hall was so squeezy due to the chairs
we kept moving arnd,
saw that he wasnt there yet,
so looked arnd.
suddenly feel very uncomfortable.
dunno why..
a lil sick alr.. D:

then he came.. :D
sat beside me,
and we just remained like that for the few hrs.
:)
then he sent me games thru his phone,
he could not play sia.
poor thing. :P

found out that he big-mouthed to a friend abt us.
seriously,
im gna smack him.
*i have a bad impression of her,
but i didnt voice it out.

after our teacher's day celebration,
after much craziness,
we came of of school.
saw many peeps,
those i liked before,
those i once admired..
tons. lol.

after thinking where to go,
after much tussle,
amanda, sam , neelam and i went off on our own.
(i hope grace isnt mad at me..)

it was just that too much waiting is really killing me. D:

went to heartland to eat,
then they decided to come my hse.
the guys had prayers,
so we sat there,
(near yellow)
while learning how to fold hearts.
*i know how to fold those alr!

THANKS JEREMY & VANESSA!

the whole place suddenly felt like a community centre.
lol.
cos we were like aunties and uncles,
folding stuff.

after much waiting,
amanda left and went home,
we,
consisting of
Vanessa,samantha,jeremy,neelam and i,
waited for the guys.
finally,
after waiting,
the guys came,
went to KFC to eat.

then they came to my hse to play bball.
this time rnd many came.
Not really,
just van and zainul. :D

went home with sam,
took the balls,
had lil talk and came down.
played arnd with them.

after playing,
everyone went separate ways,

he went first.
i wanted to send him,
he didnt want to,again!

sam and hailmi came my hse to rest.
then they went home.

(im sorry for the short notice..
cos im rushing to eat,
or else gna get scolded!)

BYEBYE. :D

Labels: BLAH

"i wonder..am i bringing you happiness or bringing you boredom?"

*sighs
its all over.
baby..
all over..

well..
except the science practical.
we have to wait till 1.30?
*screams.
im like gna rot my ass off..
sighs.
he's on shift 2..

ahhs.
went to eat pizza after our papers.
Amanda treat
HAPPY NOT? AMANDA?
then walked all the way from kovan to amanda house.
that really sucks sia.
my legs hurt like hell.
inclu amanda's scratches..
on my hand..
i shall post the pic nxt time.
amanda's bad traits!~
i shall name that topic.. :D

met rubbish and ding at kovan.
both going home.. :)

walked to her hse,
we tricked the guys and they were slow as slugs. :/
reached amanda hse,went up.
hailmi..
was acting weird..
and it was kinda cute thou. haha.
sat in her hse then watch snakes on the plane,
disgusting sia..
although watch a lil before..
but really..wabiang..sickening!

then walked all the way to the playground which
sam and mingyan played on the way while walking to my hse.
* i was sick by the way..
Was emo-ing all the way.
alwee walked with me,
while playing with me.. haha.. :D

played the weird weird rides in the playground.
almost peed in my pants when i saw alwee and hailmi playing arnd.
then walked to the bus stop.
finally,something to sit on!
sam and hailmi walked.
hailmi was dizzy.
he has a lil weakness,
shall not exploit it..

Alwee,amanda,neelam,i
reached my house first..
alwee cuz stay there. :D
the boys 'booked' the court.
amanda and i, walked to my house to get water.
and balls. :D

tried pumping the volleyball,
but the pump got a lil sot,
finally,with my maid's help,
the ball got inflated! yay!

met the guys at the bball court.
sam and hailmi havent reach..
till we played arnd with the balls.
not long after,they arrived.
it was said that the lost their way while taking a shortcut.
Moral of the story: dun take shortcuts,it dont work..
Sam dirtied her shoes and was grumbling arnd.
lol.

played arnd with them and started playing dodgeball.
we kept winning..
was teamed with amanda and neelam.
i kept going out first. :(

then alas,
neelam went with alwee.
amanda,sam,hailmi and i stayed and played ABC.
left after playing till i almost went mad.
i either had airball or missed.
was moving back and fro. lol

went home after that.
rested.
i miss him when i was alone.
and he said that im weird..
to act cold when im with him,
but starts to get sick when im far away from hhim. D:
yea,
i feel that im weird.
really..
sighs*

28.08.07

11:25pm end oenning down my notes.

Labels: im missing him

"i love myself more than anyone does."

Sorry bout those oversized vids.
*my bad,i know..

anyway,after high-ing on SJ,
i guess im down to earth.
bleahs. :P
im back to where i came from.

brrs,
noticed that time management is like so impt.
im like regretting?
darn!
(note; donghae inspired me. Do not REGRET)
im now.
i hope i wont be. :DD

been like quite PMSed this couple of days.
and pimple are once again,
invading my poor pores.
i hate puberty. :X
hormonesandallthat.

actually,
yes,something affected me
and it sucks totally.

why will you apologise when you done it again..?
i wonder..
but oh well,its all in the past.
i shall not think too much..

enough of eating vinegar..
i had enough,man!
im like so fck up now..
anyway,
im not jealous..
its just PMS,puh-lease!

ohyes.
sometimes..
i dont understand them..
weird people with weird character.
jeez,bad bitching agn.
sorry sorry.

lets talk abt something else;
anyway,
had done over with the prelims.
imagine seated in the hall,
freezing the hairs off ur butt is no sweet stuff.
im always shrivelled up in the dumpling jacket.
Green wrapper with yellow ruffian strings.
lol..

so far,
i have done with
my maths,POA,physics,chinese,english,history and SS,
im left with chemistry and the science practical.
jeez,
i wna do well for that. :D

by the way,
whatsup with babies in october..?
they are like booming all over.
lol.
(im over with bdays except my dad's.. :))

i've been quite civilised these few days, :D
i didnt really bad bitch..
just swooning over lil stuff.
im ok with her now.
just dont irritate me and i will be fine.
make sure ur usual habit dun come round. :D

Now..
talking bout bad habits;
i have a few to donn!
1.my terribly loud laughter,quoted as a mad laughter.
2.my obnoxious temper.. (im like a bull when im mad)
3.my views about people.. (theres the good & the bad..)
4.my tendency to touch people. (im touch,man~)
(jeez,thats a must to kick!)
5.my loud voice..(i tend to sound like a boombox)
6.my squeaky voice. (i squeak sometimes.)
7.my chor-lor ness. (im rough.. ^^")
8.my own imagination that im a guy.
(i tend to get rough and hyper like guys. MUST KICK)
9.my attitude. (my attitude can suck like hell)
10.how i react to those remarks. (im gna be calm)
11.me,trying to think that im capable of changing someone.
12.my 'parrot' reaction.(i blabber too much)
13. my craziness. (imustcontrol!)
14.my immature behavior.
15.my tolearance level.
somemore to come ..lol

anyway,
i've found some unusually;
'i-hate-the-most' attitude.
- stating remarks without thinking. (these ppl are total retards)
- invading into others privacy. (hello?! ur oso nt suppose to say that out!)
and some which i think is worthless to write.

i guess,
sometimes hating that person make u rmb that person well.
i dont kinda rmb her. :/
lol.
so i dont hate her!
yay! im clean now! :D

some words that i heard recently or previously,
with my own dictionary to make it easier to understand..

-chimnesian
=something which is too profound to understand.
-shiokenism (frm the hist. teacher of mine)
=a feeling of shiok. (feeling good!)
-steady pom pi pi
="well,lets go with this!" meaning. ^^"

lol. :D
spread laughter..
i shall.

anyway,
in the exams hall,
hailmi sits beside me.
seeing him really makes me wonder.
cos hes always doing something amazing. :DD
by the way,
sitting in the centre of the hall is no big feat..
its cold and my throat is giving me trouble. D:
and my coughs can be heard!
damn!

"i shall mock you,
when you fall,
and see the end of it..
I will enjoy.."

"thorns of words make u smile,
yet allowing its pain to hit you well.
knockdown for you,
and i shall cry for your plight"

gosh,
shut up is all i wna say to you.

anyway,
6th of September shall be it..
we shall once.embrace each other.

you see,
standoffs are good..
i love standoffs,..
*meaning of standoffs (thats my own term to describe it)
-to allow a space or time and start everything over again

It allowed me to know more people..
and i really like it.
YAY!
i still love my friends.

Anyway..
"think and ask other before saying,cos i do not like your attitude."

hmms,
movie mania?
when..?
i shall decide then..

lets make use of this time and start working hard!

":it is said that we express to strangers better as we will explain ourself and express even more,
as for our friends, we tend to expect them to know what we want next..And not explain to them,or express ourselves clearly..:"
I guess this could be in much use to all of us!

[28.08.07 ; 05:48pm]

Labels: SMILE and a hug pls

words spilled @ 8/28/2007 05:15:00 PM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»i want Free Hugs.. D:

"i want hug hug.. D:"

super junior..ohio!!
*o-hii-yo..
lol.
anyway,
im pretty high sei
and prelims are lulling over.
YAY!

but ohwell..
O's is coming.

BOOS

i like SNSD.
F.T island..
cute cute guys.

i shall post vids.
ENJOY!









ENJOY!

Labels: hugs anyone

words spilled @ 8/28/2007 04:04:00 PM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»it came back yet it is losing its way

Friday, August 24, 2007

"my heart came back,but i dont feel its beating"
Alas,Things are better left unsaid..

im tired,beaten today..
these prelims are giving me puffy eyes.
i sleep at 12. wake up at 6.
ohman,i feel like a panda. D:

ohwell,finished a couple of subjects alr..
go go go!
fighting fighting!!

he was there..yet so invisible

damn,
my head hurts and my heart feels empty.
jealousy bring me down.

im like so so lack of sleep,these few days.
either i think too much or memorise too hard.
Damn!
i aint wna lose sia!

time plan for these few days.
0530-0545 : wakes up and wash up.
0545-0600 : change clothes and pack bag,proceed for breakfast.
0600-0615 : my breakfast,a small cup of caffeine filled nescafe,chicken essence.
0615-0640 : eating,wear shoes,get into car,off to school.
0640-0710 : sent bro to school,my turn. either memorising notes or sleeping in car.
0710-0725 : reaches school,head to parade square,read notes.
0725- some destinated time : have exams.
some destinated time to another time : break. chit chat,chiong notes. look at him.
another destinated time to another time : exams again;different subjects.
15min intervals : either sleeping,doodling or writing SJ story.
end : collect papers, get out of hall,shivering. play with him and frens.
after lunch : head out and chit chat, waste time. go home. take mrt with him.
arnd 0500 to 6pm : snoozing at home.
0630-0700pm : bathing,watch a lil tv,eat dinner.
0700-1000pm : study,chiong notes,sms him. sit still on chair.
1000-1130pm : gets restless, sms him, lie arnd. talk crap. tie hair.
1130-1230pm : study..sms him. write diary. sleep.
sometimes,
1230-0100am: doodle then sleep.or sms him..then sleep. :DD

this is my life when its the exams period.
it sucks.
and im gaining weight. D:

and..
im happy with my life,
he's there for me. :D
but oh well,
when suspicion arise,
i get all grumpy and all sort.
i will ask..
"will it be better if im single..?"
"BUT what happens when i am..booring.."

i wish im single now,and sometimes i wished im not.
DARN!
hormones are killing me inside.
the exams are sucking me dry too. D:

ohwell,
"treasure what u have now,in case u lose it.."
god,i hoped i can.
i have to stop taking things for granted.

relationships are not bustops,they dont do stop-and-go..

ohgosh..
are attached guys that ATTRACTIVE?!
GOSH.
im PMS-ing now..!! D:
im jealous,shit,i admit,
IM JEALOUS.
and pls dont tell me that phrase.
it gives me the itch to smack u hard.
(but i know,i cant..i have to CONTROL!)

helphelphelphelp!
in a dilemma now. ))))):

pls la!
hes mine!!
*SHOO!

either all these crap are my bitchy sense,
or im just paranoid..
but seriously..
now this!!
to her..
is Bu Neng Shuo De Mimi!
i cant bear to tell her..

should i tell him?
but seriously,
hes a block of wood.

BOO!
tml going out for a while with them.
and HE's not coming along.
ohwell,
my thoughts not appreciated. ))):
*wna let him see me in my own flesh. :P
i look f-ing ugly in school u.

i still left with maths 2,chinese2,chemistry,physics 1 and practical.
GODD!!
HELP LA!...


"im tired. help.."

Labels: help me up and never let go

words spilled @ 8/24/2007 05:58:00 PM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»raging hormones on the go

Monday, August 20, 2007

"seriously,
if u wna be a bitch..learn from me..
And! ohyes,please..
SPELL SHIT PROPERLY. NOT SHIATE."

gosh..
hormones in me are going bad.
and like some other people too.
their hormones are giving them trouble.

today wasnt that bad..
it went on pretty fine..
i was kinda shocked and happy..
but i seem to look at ppl..
in a different way now..
its kinda intriguing that things turn out this way.
i guess..
i am just feel insecured after all..
i want to feel the sense of security.
but i guess,
both of us are not that ready yet. :D
i think..
friends are still the best option!

i wna take it slow.
i bet u too.
cos i dun wna rush it.
(ohwell,my hormones are thou! :()

anyway,
i belive,
crying is no longer an option i wna use.
i dun wna be a burden to u at all!
so..
pls dun think too much alr.
your free to go! dude! :D
i feel happy arnd u..
and im contented to know u!
My Friend!

she's getting on my nerves.
i thought i could change my impression of her,
yet..
she is just another dissappoinment!
big bad bitch,ur gna get ur ass kicked.
im gna screw u upside down!

Labels: i think, its over

words spilled @ 8/20/2007 11:29:00 PM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»numbing pain

Sunday, August 19, 2007

"im still in an aftershock mode"

ohwell,
what done is done!
im over it..
*(i must)

this is not the time for me to be frail!
iwillgetstronger! trust me!

i just cant imagine crying.
lol!
im a lil happy girl.

i wna be blamed for everything.
just leave me alone. D;

shit,
kena scolded.
nabei. :/

Labels: wna be alone

words spilled @ 8/19/2007 09:17:00 PM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»tears fell. i wonder why...

"hey,i stumbled and fell."

oh well,whats done is done.
i wont cry,
cos i just forgotten.

i believe that i was being all naive,
and all that..
GOSH!
stupid hormones and fairytales.

i better go find a korean or an angmoh
to be my anti-depressant,
before i get a lil crazy.
(i AM crazy,aren't i..? wont make a difference thou.)

Currently,
im having stupid migraines,puffy goldfish eyes..
how nice
and i didnt sleep for more than 4 hours!
wonderful man!
total ownage. :D

to all yyss teachers,teaching 4d in every subject on monday;
pls pardon me,eunice if i ever sleep in ur class.

i could not even close my eyes without thinking what happened

i think,..
i deserved it..
(totally!)

i shld not have assume that it was me,,
STUPIDITY kills!

well,
whats over is over.
im trying to forget,still.

would i be able to be normal..? i dont know..

Yao zhai ta de shen ri shang bei ju jue, zhen shi wo huo gai!
furthermore..
its like kibum's situation..
painful things on joyous memories.

I guess..
im sorry if i ever was a burden to you..
Or ever made u sad or depressed when u were supposed to be happy,
i once again apologize for everything.
Including that stupidest suggestion i made..
"trade what so whatever.."
Seriously,
i think i need to grow up and start thinking for others,
not for myself..
i will learn..
and grow up.

but oh well,
theres a saying..
"Thank that person that u have loved because that person taught you what love/like is.."

anyway,
kahmsahamnida!! :D

im still smiling..
right?!

------------------------------------------------------
"aiya! it wont be me one la!"
she lamented to her friends.
"What makes u so sure..that its not you?.."
her friends eyed at her.
"But this time round,its for sure..you know, the feeling.."
eunice whined.
"Its always your feeling that is WRONG.."
B friend stressed.

"haha..im hoping for the best!"
she thought happily and carried on washing her hands.

"you both have been quite close? i presumed?.."
A friend grinned happily.
"ah..? no la.. just friends.."
she blushed at the thought.

"you know.. ahh! i like her la.."
he nudged her gently.
"you like..her..?"
she stammered,feeling the ache in her heart.
"yea.. we're kinda compatible..? i dare say.. :P"
he smiled and looked at her direction.
"y..yea...! good for you.. a v..very good taste ah!?"
her voice wavered and she felt the rush of pain.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Labels: forget or forgotten

words spilled @ 8/19/2007 08:58:00 AM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»last last last video

Sunday, August 12, 2007

FLOWER BOYS :D
ENJOY EH!
with subs
i promise,this is the last..for today.. :D




IM SO FREAKING tempted TO WATCH!!
ahhhhhhh
i wna WATCH! :DDDD

mumurs to herself,
*do not,i repeat, do not get tempted!

Labels: its 3am now

words spilled @ 8/12/2007 03:33:00 AM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»1 last video before i sleep

LOVE THIS VIDEO.
it explains/translate the meaning of
Nanteugo.. Obteogo... something something..
srry.
dunno how to say it.
look at the lyrics,
and understand the bitterness.
saranghae suju trot!
(wow,its 3 in the morning!)



love this.
and it will swell in ur heart
SUNGMIN OPPA!!!
iloveYOU!

heechul sshi,
ur too..
artistic. ^^'

eunhyuk oppa,
what are u doing with the 'ahh and ahhh?'

sungmin sshi,
ur another one..
who likes sunbae..
especially..big sisters..
nuna.. :PP

sunbae and hoonbae?.. O.o

kangin sshi,
was drunk and slept in an elevator.
he jaywalks too.
naughty! :P

aiishhii!
dun bully hyukjae! :/
and not the host too! :D

Labels: its 3am now

words spilled @ 8/12/2007 03:17:00 AM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»VIDS for everyone. its clean. :D

siwon dont share his coke till he spots the camera on him. Look at siwon expression on 00:02
Warning!
Siwon,ur too addicted to Coke! CUT DOWN ON IT.
sam!? why arent u doing ur job to control him?!





Another random video :D
there's
a very feminine kangin and oh! my sungmin with his black locks!
donghae,shindong and lee teuk,
its all abt driving and stuff.





AHAHA!
The truth game;
u guys are BIG BIG liars.
eunhyuk sshii-..
u keep those things in ur ipod?!
oh geez,but oh well, guys as always. :P

PART1


PART 2


liar liar! :P

Labels: VIDEO FANATICS

words spilled @ 8/12/2007 02:47:00 AM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»there goes my blogskin. AGAIN

WAT THE H*LL?

what ahppen to my skin?
*faints

words spilled @ 8/12/2007 02:11:00 AM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»i got slapped. :(

"this time round,it burned."

ahhhh.
*cries uncontrollably.
kibum plays the piano?..
pls,stab me NOW!
total-heartache. D:
my kibum..
playing songs for other girls..?
ohwell,
*runs into a wall

*cries again.
"it hurts. :("
kibum,is MINE.
*fangs and claws out;hiss at the other girls*

WHAT HAPppen to urr ur..ur hair?..
kibum..?
u look so adorable.
*runs to kibum and hugs him
awww
u look multi adorable. :DD

hyujae!
good for you!
my hyukjae like someone!
hehe.
yay!!
*heartbleeds.
ohwell,
Congrats,honey!
muuuahhhh!!

crazy fabs of super junior,
please..
REFRAIN:

1) From scratching or tugging their limbs when u see them
2)DO NOT throw things at THEM to attract their attention.
3)DO NOT make stupid assumptions and allow the media to make more new,for e.g BGR business of theirs. Its none of our business.
4)DO NOT scream when they are singing. it makes them difficult
(i guess, lip-synching came abt due to this.)
5)DO NOT cause more trouble; e.g physical harm to yourself,to PREVENT SJ from worrying and allow them to function their performances normally.
6)DO NOT MAKE TROUBLE FOR THEM!!
7) PLEASE; dun hurt them!
(they are my JEWELS!! :D)
8*) (u need not follow,well,no one will follow this rule) pls dun steal them from me. D":

BUT!!
CONTINUE

1) SUPPORT THEM!
2) Buy their albums :D


ㅠㅠ *cries.

ahhh.
* 5 min interval *

Is super SUmmer supposed to be a drama?
Or reality?
*Explain to me in SIMPLIFIED terms. :D
my brain is not working due to Stalin..Mao Zedong..and accounts. ^^:

Ouch..
so..the aftermath of losing eunhyuk to a girl;dunno hw many miles away from Singapore is kicking in now?..
wth.. :/
ohwell,
heechul said..?
What??..
ohman.

so we are not supposed to call them super junior, but super senior as in they transformed from boys to man?!

RIDICULOUS!

a lil clip to bring me up of hyukjae,before he's with the girl

Labels: smack that

words spilled @ 8/12/2007 01:28:00 AM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄

»WHAT?!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

"U aint gna give me the same crap"

totally cubersome. i tired. tired.
slept from 7 till 9.
lol.
too tired after studying.

i want SMTOWN'07. :D

its the RING now.
scary and shitty. lols

Ciao.
see u guys when i wna say something

words spilled @ 8/11/2007 11:25:00 PM / > leave goosebumps here ⋄