»Silence sounds so good now.
Monday, June 28, 2010
I have never been very close with boys.
Unless, we have common friends or common topics.
If not, I wouldnt hang out or talk to them.
I am always the 'awkward turtle' when I am with boys.
Sure, i have guy friends.
But not much.
The guys normally I can talk to, are soft spoken ones.
Or those who are as loud as me.
Or crappish people.
And no offense, but I communicate better with malay guys.
Like it feels that they do not judge,
so it feels very comfortable for me to talk to them.
I usually have the thoughts that I may have the pheromones that attracts girls to me.
Like pretty girls, so I am usually friends with cute and pretty girls.
But mostly to those who are really nice in the inside.
(LOL, i watch too much anime. Hahah..)
But sometimes, I really secretly wished;
That I was those types of girls who can talk to boys without;
Feeling or looking awkward.
I do have ALOT of friends who are like this.
They are really close to boys.
Their best friends are well; boys.
haha.
I have once imagined if I was like that..
Then I would be dead.
Hahah, cos I am a very sensitive person.
Not forgetting, emotional.
I tend to fall for people who are nice to me.
Like, if you helped me or something.
I will like you.
LOL.
(I am totally exposed right here!!)
So, if thats the case..
My friendships wont last.
Wouldn't it?
Thats why sometimes, it really bugs me.
As I remembered what my secondary school english teacher said (Ms Jasmine Lee),
Guys & Girls rarely have PLATONIC friendships.
Its pretty much like rubbish.
Girls and guys come together.
Or maybe guys?
For one reason, just to date.
Hahah. Its true.
Based on my past experience and what I see from the friends around me
; this is pretty much true.
Once they realize they cant date you, they just fly off.
Maybe not ALL boys.
But most cases happens like this.
Isn't it.
-Sigh-
i hope this wasnt counted as an emo post.
Cos I said I want to lessen those posts.
haha.
Been having the tumblr-ing sessions.
Love the pics.
Anyway, Monday is well.. the day where you have the blues.
I am having them. Bleah.
And how I wish; I was more truthful to the people who cares for me.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say.
Because, there is a risk.
Even though good friends we may be, but..
Secrets tends to get slipped out.
So, I will keep this mum..
Among the circle.
Sorry guys. ):
I will tell you guys 1 day.
I would! But not now..
So lessons were boring as usual.
Facci, another new one.
but better than previous week, lol!
I just didnt have the mood.
I just kept tumblring.
I know i am procrastinating.
Cant help it.
(SUCH AN EXCUSE)
Saw him today, but...
What really happened?
I just pretend.
Bullshit la.
Pssh, nonsense only.
Cos I am getting jealous over nothing.
They were just chatting, so?!!!!
wtf, I believe im the 'possesive' type.
lol.
Just now in bus, was showing the pictures from tumblr to amanda.
She likes it too!
There is a quite a few pics we agreed on.
lol,
Like the one I posted in top.
"Friends we may be. But can we dont be friends?"
Cos I think I love you.
P.S even though we had a long talk.
The longest one ever!!
Like compared to our other conversation.
Yesterday night, so far..
Was the longest!
But sadly, sometimes..
my heart just goes to a 'force close'
I dont know, in my eyes..
You are just so almighty.
You are a tree that wont be uprooted,
no matter how strong the winds were.
But we are all humans, arent we?
*sigh*
Even Amanda thinks that because 我得不到你;
that's why i crave so much for you.
I am scared, once I have gotten what I want.
I will just throw you away.
And break you once again.
You look strong, but inside..
Lays a porcelain heart.
Maybe for the benefit of me and you,
I have to make sure I really really will treat with you care.
And not have any issues with how you look, how you talk or how you act.
Its silly of me to think like this.
but i dont want to hurt another person.
Sigh, but for now.
I just know..
I am craving for you really badly.
I like you, you silly doofus.
I like how you care about how I feel.
or how am I feeling.
Even though I know it might just be a lie. (:
Unless, we have common friends or common topics.
If not, I wouldnt hang out or talk to them.
I am always the 'awkward turtle' when I am with boys.
Sure, i have guy friends.
But not much.
The guys normally I can talk to, are soft spoken ones.
Or those who are as loud as me.
Or crappish people.
And no offense, but I communicate better with malay guys.
Like it feels that they do not judge,
so it feels very comfortable for me to talk to them.
I usually have the thoughts that I may have the pheromones that attracts girls to me.
Like pretty girls, so I am usually friends with cute and pretty girls.
But mostly to those who are really nice in the inside.
(LOL, i watch too much anime. Hahah..)
But sometimes, I really secretly wished;
That I was those types of girls who can talk to boys without;
Feeling or looking awkward.
I do have ALOT of friends who are like this.
They are really close to boys.
Their best friends are well; boys.
haha.
I have once imagined if I was like that..
Then I would be dead.
Hahah, cos I am a very sensitive person.
Not forgetting, emotional.
I tend to fall for people who are nice to me.
Like, if you helped me or something.
I will like you.
LOL.
(I am totally exposed right here!!)
So, if thats the case..
My friendships wont last.
Wouldn't it?
Thats why sometimes, it really bugs me.
As I remembered what my secondary school english teacher said (Ms Jasmine Lee),
Guys & Girls rarely have PLATONIC friendships.
Its pretty much like rubbish.
Girls and guys come together.
Or maybe guys?
For one reason, just to date.
Hahah. Its true.
Based on my past experience and what I see from the friends around me
; this is pretty much true.
Once they realize they cant date you, they just fly off.
Maybe not ALL boys.
But most cases happens like this.
Isn't it.
-Sigh-
i hope this wasnt counted as an emo post.
Cos I said I want to lessen those posts.
haha.
Been having the tumblr-ing sessions.
Love the pics.
Anyway, Monday is well.. the day where you have the blues.
I am having them. Bleah.
And how I wish; I was more truthful to the people who cares for me.
but sometimes, i just dont want to say.
Because, there is a risk.
Even though good friends we may be, but..
Secrets tends to get slipped out.
So, I will keep this mum..
Among the circle.
Sorry guys. ):
I will tell you guys 1 day.
I would! But not now..
So lessons were boring as usual.
Facci, another new one.
but better than previous week, lol!
I just didnt have the mood.
I just kept tumblring.
I know i am procrastinating.
Cant help it.
(SUCH AN EXCUSE)
Saw him today, but...
What really happened?
I just pretend.
Bullshit la.
Pssh, nonsense only.
Cos I am getting jealous over nothing.
They were just chatting, so?!!!!
wtf, I believe im the 'possesive' type.
lol.
Just now in bus, was showing the pictures from tumblr to amanda.
She likes it too!
There is a quite a few pics we agreed on.
lol,
Like the one I posted in top.
"Friends we may be. But can we dont be friends?"
Cos I think I love you.
P.S even though we had a long talk.
The longest one ever!!
Like compared to our other conversation.
Yesterday night, so far..
Was the longest!
But sadly, sometimes..
my heart just goes to a 'force close'
I dont know, in my eyes..
You are just so almighty.
You are a tree that wont be uprooted,
no matter how strong the winds were.
But we are all humans, arent we?
*sigh*
Even Amanda thinks that because 我得不到你;
that's why i crave so much for you.
I am scared, once I have gotten what I want.
I will just throw you away.
And break you once again.
You look strong, but inside..
Lays a porcelain heart.
Maybe for the benefit of me and you,
I have to make sure I really really will treat with you care.
And not have any issues with how you look, how you talk or how you act.
Its silly of me to think like this.
but i dont want to hurt another person.
Sigh, but for now.
I just know..
I am craving for you really badly.
I like you, you silly doofus.
I like how you care about how I feel.
or how am I feeling.
Even though I know it might just be a lie. (:
Labels: boys, but i love u.., day in school, everyday life.
words spilled @ 6/28/2010 04:24:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
