ยปFriendship & Petal of the sakura
Monday, June 14, 2010
"I can see our bonds thinning.."
No, this isnt a story. lol!
But well, I think maybe getting sick has made me got a little bolder.
Also, the fact of the people in this issue do not read my blog.
I guess, well..
from my previous post, i kinda have some problems with siyun.
yesyes, no.
We didnt clarify the problem.
Well, my FYP team mates said that its best not to.
I have already came clean with her on my blog.
So it does not matter anymore, right?
I do not really bother with how she looks at me.
It does not matter.
And if i mentioned in my past previous posts.
You may know, the group consisted of 3.
Siyun, Amanda & Me.
Pretty much, after siyun dated hafiz.
Amanda & I were close.
I thought we were.
Hahah, I always tend to assume my friendship is stable.
But well, and the sad truth is.
We aren't.
I can say that she's a really really good friend of mine.
But not to the extent, where we became bffs.
Naw, bffs do not exist anymore.
It's such a 'superficial' term.
I have awesome best friends.
No, I dont dare to put bffs.
Because, I know forever is kinda unrealistic now.
So, yea.. It sucks.
But nonetheless, I love my friends.
Back to the topic, of me and amanda.
Maybe, we are just making use of each other when we are alone.
Or maybe, me, eunice cheung is going into another phase..
The jealousy phase.. maybe..
will explain why, later..
Why making use of each other..?
Amanda had siyun previously, and well..
Listening to how they talk, they are very close.
And sadly, all my buds are not in RP!
They are out in other schools or having attachment,
So, I sticked with them.
So, after siyun and hafiz got on.
I was always with amanda.
I am happy she;s there, cos I have company.
And well, maybe I was a company to her as well.
When i needed advice, she was there too.
So it was really cool.
But well, recently..
Air cleared between them.
I wont say that I am utterly pleased.
(I am a person who's pretty much territorial of my friends, HAAA.
Bet you didnt know that..)
Cos I get miffed when my friends are 'stolen' from me.
But yeaa, siyun needs her fair share of buddies too.
Since everything is all about hafiz.
And she doesnt have gfs.
lol, im really bitchy at times.
like, when she's with hafiz.
Amanda and I would talk animatedly about them.
I know, I am horrible.
But I cant help it.
I was trying the "want this? then leave hafiz for a moment to join us." tactic.
Didnt work, I guess.
It backfired.
So now, amanda is close with siyun.
And well, I must be a little less selfish.
Cos, afterall she and siyun were pretty much close during year 2.
I shall not be jealous and mean.
Ok, why the title..
It because, I just felt jealous and I find that we were just using each other..
I dont need a full time best friend, but I just want you when I need you.
wtf am i even saying.
and as for nate..
Boy, i like you alot.
and i have kinda suspected whose your ex-girlfriend.
i was wrong for the 1st guess, hope I am wrong for the 2nd too.
but well, she fits ur criteria..
i think.
And ahhh,I read up a quote..
"Dont say I have changed. All I did was to find myself"
Well, everytime I will go..
"Ohh, you changed. and i find that we dont match as friends.."
But now, I cant say that.
Cos, well..
You are once my closest friend.
But now, you are another.
I love you still.
I have to admit, not as much when we were kids.
But sometimes I wonder..
Is it because of me?
Maybe everything started because of me.
I cant handle stuff properly.
I really need someone to guide me.
And I wonder where is that person..
GOSH..
my life is really fucked up by my own hands.
I really want to make everything right now.
Be as hardworking as Amanda..
Be as strong mentally, like you..
I just want to grow up and be more sensible.
Maybe the heavens have already gave up on me.
The fail blog eunice.. ):
OHSHITTT, it sucks..
Labels: boys, FAIL, friends issues, problems, school
words spilled @ 6/14/2010 04:56:00 PM /
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