ยปIf i was a pretender,would it mean that i wont be sad..?
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
"her heart pounded softly,it seems as if it were to stop"
im feeling so upset right now.
seriously.
its all because of an icecream.
even when i am typing this,
my heart have this heavy feeling.
this feelings only appears once in a while.
it just makes me feel so drained and tired.
all i feel like doing is to stop,sit down in a dark corner.
bury my head into my knees and cry.
this feeling inside is so painful and hurting.
it seemed to take up an imaginary space in my body,
squeezing my lungs and organs into a knot.
i want someone to beat me up and exhaust this feeling.
this is so unbearable.
may this be guilt,sorrow,hatred.
but its tormenting me.
Yet,tears dont seem to fall.
All I can do is to pretend im strong and steady.
i really hate this pretense.
i really hate it so much.
I wont say im not in the wrong.
but why do you have to say that its all yours to blame..?
why do you have to spite us..?
i do not want to turn into u.
because you scare me so much that i fear..
fear that i will grow like u.
someone throw me into a web of lies.
so i can lie and coax myself into something much more convincing.
im feeling so upset right now.
seriously.
its all because of an icecream.
even when i am typing this,
my heart have this heavy feeling.
this feelings only appears once in a while.
it just makes me feel so drained and tired.
all i feel like doing is to stop,sit down in a dark corner.
bury my head into my knees and cry.
this feeling inside is so painful and hurting.
it seemed to take up an imaginary space in my body,
squeezing my lungs and organs into a knot.
i want someone to beat me up and exhaust this feeling.
this is so unbearable.
may this be guilt,sorrow,hatred.
but its tormenting me.
Yet,tears dont seem to fall.
All I can do is to pretend im strong and steady.
i really hate this pretense.
i really hate it so much.
I wont say im not in the wrong.
but why do you have to say that its all yours to blame..?
why do you have to spite us..?
i do not want to turn into u.
because you scare me so much that i fear..
fear that i will grow like u.
someone throw me into a web of lies.
so i can lie and coax myself into something much more convincing.
Labels: fears, im sorry, im tired, its singled sadness
words spilled @ 12/02/2008 09:23:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
