" Funny, how we are.. "

Bad habits, that are too hard to kick.
I am filled with flaws, countless I mean.
I cant speak perfect english, I have acne (bad case) , I dont look proportionate,
neither do I look healthy, I dont have..
Wait, why am I hogging about this issue when,
I was supposed to blog about something else.
- chuckles and shakes her head wryly -

But the things I was supposed to blog is kinda related,
to what I wrote.
One thing to add to my growing list;
I have issues.

Like,honestly.. I think I do.
Sometimes, I do not know what to tag that feeling that overcomes me.
Sadness, rage, jealousy?
(It only happens when there's negative emotions)
But, I daresay.. I shun negative emotions really fast.
Like ASAP.
I would force myself to think about other things.
Call it escaping, but I am not strong to face it.
I have been running.
But lets leave that topic for some other post.

It happens to me, I can tell you.
I aint any saint.
I cant hold my temper, I cant hold my feelings when I feel jealous or hurt.
But sometimes, I try so hard.
To hold it all in, so others wont feel bad.
I question myself; am I doing this for them or myself?
The lines between this 2 has blurred haphazardly.
I just get so upset thinking about this.

True enough, when i get good grades..
I feel really good..
But when I hear others getting better grades..
Something just overwhelms me.
This is that feeling that i cant name.
Am I angry?
Why cant I be happy and GENUINELY happy for them?
I honestly feel I am a very selfish person.
This is something I have been fighting since secondary school.

But in the end, I always end up running away.

Now all I can chant in my head;
"You can do better and try harder next time"

But really, will I?
Can I?

Tutorial:

Tutorial:

Tutorial:
I will think of what I wanna say when I think of it. PEACE OUTTTTTTTTT.