ยปI just need some time alone
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
"Heed the calling of my sweetheart.."
I am feeling so sorry about neglecting the blog.
dammit.
well,i guess,im going to try keeping up the pace once again.
anyway,its computing.
brrr, the teacher whom gave me my first friggin fat fugly..
u see what im bolding..?
yes, a F..
ohwell,im just going to accept that.
i wonder how am i going to survive the next 2 years.
seriously..
im really worried in a way.
dammit, u see science and maths are never my good subjects.
*sighs*
Now,i regret doing many things I should not have done.
Gosh, if i put in effort with the goal im heading..
it will be so much easier for me now.
Now i can taste the exact opposite of..
"First bitter work,then sweet results"
im getting the opposite.
"First,Sweet & Relaxed,then Bitter & Mad"
If I did wanted to go the poly I wanted, and worked hard for it.
Like,have a goal instead of the usual..
"When the boat reached the bridge,it's path goes straight.."
Now.. Im totally bitter with myself.
I dont regret coming into RP at all.
Because I love how it is.
But i just detest the course I landed myself into.
It's terrible,and I loathe it.
But who can I blame..?
No one but me.
But I cannot complain,
Cos it will only cause my parents to be upset.
Even though they may just be angry on the outside,
but i can feel they are just upset about this too.
Probably even much more upset than me.
Ok,ok,back to the topic.
I ought to lighten this post.
So..
I have just placed Left 4 Dead in my laptop.
it can run smoothly.
but sometimes,it will just die completely.
lol.
and yea,that stupid game caused me to lose sleep for a night.
i could feel i was not sleeping.
but instead I was just closing my eyes.
well,i did get sufficient rest for abt an hour or so.
I should sleep earlier tonight.
(I must..)
And, I realised that my EQ is not as high as I thought that I would have.
I cant control my emotions well.
But thanks to the book i borrowed,
i know roughly how to control my anger.
I have to control my temper as if I was a young werewolf instead of a newborn vampire..
hahah!
cool,right..?
it can aid me when i think like that.
I will try picturing myself that I will explode into a wolf when i get too mad.
and well,for the sad emotion..
I will think like as if im a newborn vampire.
snapping easily..
Emotions are allowed to flow like a lake..
But it will be bad if a lake gushes like a river, wouldn't it be bad..?
I have to get back to lesson right now.
Really,im really really going to have to change.
What do i need to do,immediatly
deadline: 2 weeks from now
Im done! (:
ok,bye bye!
I am feeling so sorry about neglecting the blog.
dammit.
well,i guess,im going to try keeping up the pace once again.
anyway,its computing.
brrr, the teacher whom gave me my first friggin fat fugly..
u see what im bolding..?
yes, a F..
ohwell,im just going to accept that.
i wonder how am i going to survive the next 2 years.
seriously..
im really worried in a way.
dammit, u see science and maths are never my good subjects.
*sighs*
Now,i regret doing many things I should not have done.
Gosh, if i put in effort with the goal im heading..
it will be so much easier for me now.
Now i can taste the exact opposite of..
"First bitter work,then sweet results"
im getting the opposite.
"First,Sweet & Relaxed,then Bitter & Mad"
If I did wanted to go the poly I wanted, and worked hard for it.
Like,have a goal instead of the usual..
"When the boat reached the bridge,it's path goes straight.."
Now.. Im totally bitter with myself.
I dont regret coming into RP at all.
Because I love how it is.
But i just detest the course I landed myself into.
It's terrible,and I loathe it.
But who can I blame..?
No one but me.
But I cannot complain,
Cos it will only cause my parents to be upset.
Even though they may just be angry on the outside,
but i can feel they are just upset about this too.
Probably even much more upset than me.
Ok,ok,back to the topic.
I ought to lighten this post.
So..
I have just placed Left 4 Dead in my laptop.
it can run smoothly.
but sometimes,it will just die completely.
lol.
and yea,that stupid game caused me to lose sleep for a night.
i could feel i was not sleeping.
but instead I was just closing my eyes.
well,i did get sufficient rest for abt an hour or so.
I should sleep earlier tonight.
(I must..)
And, I realised that my EQ is not as high as I thought that I would have.
I cant control my emotions well.
But thanks to the book i borrowed,
i know roughly how to control my anger.
I have to control my temper as if I was a young werewolf instead of a newborn vampire..
hahah!
cool,right..?
it can aid me when i think like that.
I will try picturing myself that I will explode into a wolf when i get too mad.
and well,for the sad emotion..
I will think like as if im a newborn vampire.
snapping easily..
Emotions are allowed to flow like a lake..
But it will be bad if a lake gushes like a river, wouldn't it be bad..?
I have to get back to lesson right now.
Really,im really really going to have to change.
What do i need to do,immediatly
deadline: 2 weeks from now
- I have to note down things I dread about myself.
- Then,I am going to seperate them into different categories,like emotionally,physically,mentally.
- Then I will rank them. From most important to least important.
- Im going to write solutions to solve these problems.
- I will have to start changing.
- Then,start a new list of things that i need to fulfill in my life.
- And a section that says : Things to do before I turn 18.
- And stop before I start another list that I will have to think about.
Im done! (:
ok,bye bye!
Labels: angry, bored, im tired, painting with my emotions.
words spilled @ 1/07/2009 02:48:00 PM /
> leave goosebumps here ⋄
